Imagine that all the Swedish guys who produce hits for Rihanna, Katy Perry and Britney Spears had untalented cousins with musical aspirations, that writers can construct lyrics from those magnetic build-a-word kits and that Kermit of "The Muppet Babies" got ahold of T-Pain's Autotune app and you'll have an accurate idea of how Caroline Wozniacki's pop debut sounds.
It took a few Internet searches to determine that the following song was real and not an April Fools' joke that stayed hidden for 48 hours. This is very much real. The only thing it's missing is a cameo from Wozniacki's boyfriend, golfer Rory McIlroy.
You'll find yourself wanting to stop it immediately. Do yourself a favor and stick through the two minute mark. You'll thank me in 125 seconds.
[Update: The clip has been pulled from YouTube, perhaps mercifully.]
"My name is Caroline," is guaranteed to be in your head for the rest of the day.
The song's proceeds will go to the Danish and Polish Paralympic teams, so it has that going for it.