(AP file photo)

On Tuesday, Mardy Fish was a big fan of the fast court surface in Dubai. After defeating Karol Beck, 6-1, 6-1, the top-ranked American had this to say about the quick courts in the UAE:

"It's nice to have at least a tournament or two that's a quicker surface on the tour these days. They've slowed everything down. They've slowed Wimbledon down, they've slowed the US Open down. Montreal was the fastest surface of the year last year, Cincinnati is usually relatively quick. A lot of that has to do with the weather as well. But this court is quick. It's playing fast, especially during the day. And it's nice to get that sort of variety a little bit. We've lost the variety, no doubt about it. There are hardly any faster-surface tournaments any more. I love them. There should be a couple more at least."

On Wednesday, Mardy Fish lost on those same courts to world No. 34 Mikhail Youzhny, 6-2, 7-6 (0).

The lesson, as always: Love always comes back to bite you.

(Getty Images)

Last July 15, on her 22nd birthday, Alisa Kleybanova announced she was leaving the WTA to get treated for Hodgkin's lymphoma. The Russian, who had ascended to a career-high of No. 20 earlier in the year, wrote a brave message to her fans explaining the process and her mindset.

Seven months later, Kleybanova is back with a new message. She's returning to the sport next month in Key Biscayne.

Hi to all my friends and fans!

It has been a long time since my last message... and now I really want to get back in touch with you and share all the great things and emotions I have!

I finished my treatments in December and a couple of weeks ago I did my last tests in Italy. The treatments were successful, my doctors are happy with my health and I'm feeling great!

(AP)

One of the greatest athletes of all time will join the cast of one of the greatest celebrity-based dance-competition reality shows.

It was announced Monday that Grand Slam champion Martina Navratilova will be on the 14th season of ABC's hit series "Dancing With the Stars." Please don't let this alter your high opinion of her.

She'll be the second tennis player to appear on the show. Monica Seles was eliminated in the second episode of Season 6, just before Steve Guttenberg.

[Related: Is it fair that Novak Djokovic got his brother a wild card in Dubai?]

Navratilova battled breast cancer in 2010 and now says she's cancer free. In between exhibition matches and calling Grand Slams for The Tennis Channel, she takes it easy by doing things like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.

She'll be paired with dancer Tony Dovolani. In his 12 seasons on the show, Dovolani has advanced deep into the competition but has never been victorious. His best finish is third place. Just call him Mr. Wozniacki.

[Photos:

Chelsea Handler sat down with Maria Sharapova on Monday night and, in between inevitable questions about tracksuit-wearing Russian men and vodka, the late-night cable host asked the Russian tennis star about accusations that she's sort of a b. Sharapova was all too happy to confirm the rumors.

The full transcript:

Handler: "You are a bitch, I like that."

Sharapova: "I really am."

Handler: "You have a reputation for being kind of a bitch. Right? Why, are you?"

Sharapova: "At times."

Handler: "Do you not hang out with the other tennis girls. Is that why people think that?"

Sharapova: "I'm not exactly giving them fives in the shower. It's not my thing. I get out of the locker room as fast as I can. It's not my hangout."

Handler: "That's good. I like that attitude. You don't really give a [expletive]."

Judging by the tone of "Chelsea Lately," I'm assuming someone gets called that word on a daily basis. Sharapova didn't appear to mind. Rather, she relished in it, particularly her lack of giving out high-fives in the shower. That's smart. It just seems dangerous.

(Getty Images)Novak Djokovic is playing this week in Dubai, his first tournament since winning the Australian Open. He won't be the only Djokovic in the draw, as Sports Illustrated's Jon Wertheim explains:

But there was also Marko Djokovic, ranked No. 867, who "earned" a wild card -- a wild card, one safely assumes, that came as a condition of his brother's commitment. We can have a healthy debate here. Is Novak using his leverage in a creative way, helping to catalyze the career of his younger brother? Or does this fly in the face of fair play, depriving a far more deserving player of a spot?

Let's debate.

Both of Wertheim's points are true: Djokovic is creatively using leverage and said use of leverage is leaving the playing field a little less level. We can agree that this isn't great for the game. But is it bad?

The job of organizers is to sell tickets and gain interest in the event. If letting Marko play is the best way to get Novak there, then the trade-off is an easy one. Dubai gets three

(Getty Images)

Venus Williams, Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova attended the famed Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday night.

If I were catty like Joan Rivers, I'd say Sharapova looked like a hippie maid auditioning for "Peter Pan" on the West End. But I'm not, so I'll say that, of the three, Sharapova was the third-best dressed.

Venus looked dazzling in a purple and pink toga-style dress, while her sister, Serena, looked great from the knees up. Don't really know what's going on at the bottom of that thing.

Still, Serena and Venus looked great:

(Getty)

(Getty Images)

We like Roger Federer. We like him a lot. We'd dare say that if there were a list of Roger Federer admirers out there, we'd be in contention for No. 2, right along with Anna Wintour, Chris Evert, Mirka and the person who made this banner.

There's no such battle for the top spot, of course. That position is occupied by Federer himself.

Nobody loves Roger Federer more than Roger Federer and that's never more evident than in his press conferences. When talking with the media, Federer speaks in polite braggadocio mixed with an amusing lack of self-awareness and creates a whole new level of athlete preening. It's not trash-talk. It's not Joe Namath guaranteeing the Super Bowl. It's not even classifiable as boasting. It's different. There's a subtlety when he talks about his greatness, almost as if he's embarrassed to be discussing it, but desperate to get it out. It's downright Federerian.

Today, Busted Racquet introduces the "That's so Roger" Fed-O-Meter. Its purpose: To parse Federer's press conference quotes and to rate them on how much "Federer" is in there. The lower the score, the less boastful the comment. A full ranking of five Feds means he's preening like a peacock at mating season.

Our inaugural edition takes quotes from Federer's presser in Dubai.

"It would be great having [Pete Sampras' record for most weeks at No. 1] but my life is very much OK without it, too. Pete is a good friend and was an amazing champion for our game. I don't need to break every record he has."

A perfect starting point. Federer is gracious (talking about how amazing Pete was) and honest (he wants the record but is cool if he doesn't). And then he makes sure to let you know that he's broken most of Sampras' records already.

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(Dubai Duty Free Tennis)

Instead of playing a tennis match atop the helipad at Dubai's Al Arab hotel, Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic posed for photos with a grasping handshake that looked like the final shot of their inevitable buddy-cop comedy, "Tango & Cash 2: Love Hurts."

Seven years ago, the helipad at the seven-star hotel was transformed into a tennis court that hosted a brief, terrifying Federer and Andre Agassi hitting session. This time around, the promotion for the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships were less daredevil-like. The two stars posed for some pictures, sat for an interview along with tournament officials and looked at a huge "20" spelled out on the 693-foot high helipad, a nod to the tournament's 20th anniversary.

(DDFT)

Federer, like one of those reality show contestants who scores screen time in confessionals by saying exactly what producers want to hear, sung the praises of Dubai's annual event.

"The tournament has won awards thanks to the people sitting here with us, and they deserve it," he said. "The organization is really well done and every time we come back I think there's more of a buzz in the city. The top players in particular love coming here and they always have a great time."

(DDFT)