In the year and a half since Zlatan Ibrahimovic's ill-fated season at Barcelona, a lot has come out about his clashes with Pep Guardiola. And while it may seem like every bitter detail that proves why an ego like Zlatan's just didn't fit in with the amalgam at Barca, the Milan striker's upcoming autobiography proves that he was holding out on the best parts.
Swedish paper Aftonbladet has published the first chapter of the book. And it sounds like an excellent first chapter. First, Zlatan tells about his need for speed. From La Gazzetta dello Sport:
"I always drive like a madman. I got to 325 kmph [202 mph], leaving the police behind. I've done so many silly things I daren't think about now," writes Ibrahimovic in the book. Once in Spain after a snowfall he skidded into a wall.
And Zlatan keeps that skidding super car in Spain theme going in describing how he remembers his problems at Barca:
He described the Barcelona changing rooms as a place where everyone sat there in silence, well-behaved, almost subdued: Messi, Xavi and Iniesta were like schoolboys who obeyed every command without question. "I am a guy who likes those who drive through red lights." [...]
"Messi began to talk and asked for another role on the pitch, things changed, Guardiola preferred to do what he wanted." After a while Ibra asked to have a meeting with Guardiola, and told him: "I'm a Ferrari, but you are driving me as if I were a Fiat."
So as a true rebel who likes to flout the law and drive through red lights among a group of dutiful schoolboys, you can see where this next statement would prove to be the breaking point that got him shipped off to Milan for an estimated €50 million less than they paid for him:
Diplomatic relations broke down completely when he shouted: "You have no balls. You sh*t yourself when facing Mourinho! F**k off!"
Hopefully he told Messi, Xavi and Iniesta to put on their earmuffs before saying that.
Whether this book is filed under fiction or non-fiction remains to be seen. I just hope the publisher is smart enough to call it "F*** off! an autobiography by The Speeding Ferrari."