Watching PSG-Stade de Reims from the stands with Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Brooks Peck
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(Jean Catuffe/Getty Images)

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is out for four weeks with a hamstring injury, forcing him to watch PSG's 3-0 win over Stade de Reims from the stands with his two young sons Vincent and Maximilian. Let's take a look at what happens when a fierce competitor at the top of his game like Zlatan is forced to watch his team like an average fan.

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"When everyone is wearing a suit, Zlatan wears a white T-shirt. This is what it means to Dare to Zlatan. Now everyone else feels like an overdressed idiot and I have the most unrestricted arm movement in this section."

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"Yes, hello everyone, I am Zlitting amongst you today. You will want to be alert throughout the match because I can and will kick you at any moment. Thank you and thumbs up!"

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"Hello, do you sell Zlatans? ... Of course you don't, because there is only one Zlatan. Kung fu ponytail slap! Have a nice day. ... Did you see what I did? I called up a boutique and I said, 'Do you sell Zlatans?' and they said 'What?' and I said 'Of course you don't, because there's only one Zlatan.' I like to that do that when I'm bored sometimes. It's fun, you should try it."

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"Why didn't he score from there? I know he was 40 yards out, had his back to the goal and he was surrounded by seven defenders, but I would've scored from there. Wait, is that Robin Williams? No...no, I don't think it is."

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"Hahaha when I hold my arm like this and close my eyes I can watch a match in which I am playing and it's so much better."

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"Zladdy, since your team is winning without you, does that mean they don't need you anymore?"

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"Hey! HEY! I'm yelling at you because I'm pretty sure that's what the people in the stands are supposed to do, but I don't know what to say so I'm just saying this really loud! Also, I am Zlatan! I'm not some random guy yelling! So definitely take that into consideration!"

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"Instead of watching the match, one of my kids is asleep and the other is happily playing with an iPad. Football truly is terrible without Zlatan."

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Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!