Dirty TackleWatching PSG-Stade de Reims from the stands with Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is out for four weeks with a hamstring injury, forcing him to watch PSG's 3-0 win over Stade de Reims from the stands with his two young sons Vincent and Maximilian. Let's take a look at what happens when a fierce competitor at the top of his game like Zlatan is forced to watch his team like an average fan.
"When everyone is wearing a suit, Zlatan wears a white T-shirt. This is what it means to Dare to Zlatan. Now everyone else feels like an overdressed idiot and I have the most unrestricted arm movement in this section."
"Yes, hello everyone, I am Zlitting amongst you today. You will want to be alert throughout the match because I can and will kick you at any moment. Thank you and thumbs up!"
"Hello, do you sell Zlatans? ... Of course you don't, because there is only one Zlatan. Kung fu ponytail slap! Have a nice day. ... Did you see what I did? I called up a boutique and I said, 'Do you sell Zlatans?' and they said 'What?' and I said 'Of course you don't, because there's only one Zlatan.' I like to that do that when I'm bored sometimes. It's fun, you should try it."
"Why didn't he score from there? I know he was 40 yards out, had his back to the goal and he was surrounded by seven defenders, but I would've scored from there. Wait, is that Robin Williams? No...no, I don't think it is."
"Hahaha when I hold my arm like this and close my eyes I can watch a match in which I am playing and it's so much better."
"Zladdy, since your team is winning without you, does that mean they don't need you anymore?"
"Hey! HEY! I'm yelling at you because I'm pretty sure that's what the people in the stands are supposed to do, but I don't know what to say so I'm just saying this really loud! Also, I am Zlatan! I'm not some random guy yelling! So definitely take that into consideration!"
"Instead of watching the match, one of my kids is asleep and the other is happily playing with an iPad. Football truly is terrible without Zlatan."
- - - - - - -
is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT
