In the latest episode of Law and Order: Cobham Mysteries, the Daily Mail's Neil Ashton reports that exactly "six wallets, nine mobile phones and several watches" have been stolen from staff and players during a training session at their Cobham complex, prompting a police investigation. And yes, it would be very easy to make a John Terry joke right now.
From the Daily Mail:
Players are now demanding to know how their possessions could have been taken during an hour-and-a-half training session.
A club spokesman said: 'A number of personal items were recently stolen from the academy dressing room area. The matter is currently being investigated by the police. CCTV footage is being handed to them and confirms the thefts were carried out by a lone intruder not connected with the training ground site.
'Other local premises near to the training ground were targeted that day and may be connected. Nobody at Chelsea FC is under suspicion.'
Although Chelsea insist the thefts are not an inside job, police have yet to make an arrest after they were called in last week.
This is just the latest in a series of strange happenings at Cobham. Earlier in the year, an internal investigation was launched after a smoke bomb went off inside the complex. Two reserve team players admitted to playing a part in it and the player who set it off, Jacob Mellis, was kicked off the team. Before that, Ashley Cole shot an intern with an air rifle and more recently, Chelsea security personnel broke one of the handles on the Champions League trophy while taking pictures with it.
Anyway, this petty theft business could just be the groundwork for when Fernando Torres gets "stolen" out of the complex so the club can cash in on the insurance. It's a genius plan.