The Shankly Gate of Fenway.
The first episode of Being: Liverpool was interesting because of its sunny portrayal of Kenny Dalglish's departure and Brendan Rodgers' arrival, plus the insight into the personal lives of Rodgers and several players. But for episode two, those insights and events were largely replaced by a long advertisement for parent company Fenway Sports Group and slow-motion.
The episode took place almost entirely in Boston and Toronto, where Liverpool began their preseason tour. And as most footballers will tell you, days consisting solely of training sessions and living out of a hotel away from home can get boring. Maybe that was the point of episode two.
Still, there were some fine moments to pull from this installment. Here are some of the best (presented in chronological order)...
1. Kenny Dalglish burn?
Jamie Carragher sits in the dark.
"Rodgers' hands-on philosphy is a change from the past," narrator Clive Owen says. "But one to which his players are responding."
Jamie Carragher confirms this by saying, "Rflkjdaskdf lkjdslac,.aeoiwedjo kdlsjfkas jaoeainlksnfsladld kljaflsanckloewijcoajds."
2. Jonjo Shelvey doesn't listen
Not pictured: Alex Ferguson distracting Jonjo Shelvey from Rodgers' advice.
During one training session, Rodgers takes Shelvey aside and gives him some quiet advice. "Just stay on your feet," he tells Shelvey repeatedly. Coincidentally, this episode first aired hours after Shelvey was sent off against Manchester United for a harshly judged lunging challenge.
3. Happy Gilmore driving competition/shirtless pushups on the golf course
I have no idea.
After the snoozy trip to Toronto, there is a golf outing back in Boston that involves a Happy Gilmore style long-drive competition and results in the team's fitness coach doing shirtless pushups on the tee. Not shown: several players taking a bath in the pond on the ninth hole and mooning other golfers as they tried to put.
4. Mighty Red appears, feasts on local children
New Liverpool mascot Mighty Red joins the team at a charity event. Only the few moments when he doesn't have a child dangling from his giant bird dentures are shown.
5. Glen Johnson hits Andy Carroll in the face with a baseball
While messing around in the batting cages at Fenway Park, one of Glen Johnson's pitches gets away from him and hits batter Andy Carroll in the face. Kenny Dalglish watches this moment on a loop.
6. Dr. Jose Enrique drops some medical terminology
Prior to the match against Roma, Jose Enrique finds out that his pregnant wife is having a boy. He shows off the sonogram on his Blackberry and makes sure to point out the fetus dong.
7. The awkward moment when the players have no idea they're talking to the owner
Answer wrong and he releases the hounds.
In the dressing room at Fenway, Liverpool owner John Henry tries to make small talk with the players. He asks several of the younger guys if they know who he is. After a moment of sheer panic, they try to play it cool and nod. Henry laughs, drawing comfort from the knowledge that they will not be getting paid. He then walks away and spits the words "I'm John" back at them like mouthful of tacks.
And then James Bond showed up (with a mustache as a disguise) to dispose of them.
Steven Gerrard asked him if he knows Phil Collins immediately after this.
Bonus: Ian Ayre on a motorcycle
Ian Ayre on a motorcycle.
For the second consecutive episode, we've had a glimpse of Liverpool managing director Ian Ayre on a motorcycle. Is this a part of the buildup to him getting his own motorcycle based spin-off show? Is he the Ghost Rider? The anticipation is unbearable.
- Sports & Recreation
- Kenny Dalglish
- Brendan Rodgers
- Jonjo Shelvey