Dirty Tackle

Two alternative explanations for Jose Mourinho’s explosive trip to Ikea

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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On Sunday morning, Jose Mourinho was spotted at Ikea. He reportedly bought €200 worth of boxes, tape and other packing materials. This was determined to be news. It was also determined to be proof that Mourinho is, in fact, leaving Real Madrid for a return to Chelsea this summer despite his recent claims of being unsure of such a move.

There are, however, two other distinct possible explanations for this Ikea trip. In the interest of spreading knowledge on important matters like this, we present them to you now.

Strong possibility No. 1 — Mourinho is going to pack Iker Casillas up and send him to Alaska. Animosity between Mourinho and Real Madrid captain Casillas has been building for some time and it has been made exponentially more uncomfortable by Mourinho's decision to regularly start Diego Lopez while Casillas looks sad on the bench. So with other Real Madrid players now calling for Casillas to be respected, Mourinho must show everyone that he's the boss by shipping Casillas to Alaska with Ikea packing materials, putting him out of sight and out of mind.

Now, you're probably thinking that €200 worth of materials is a lot if you're shipping just one Iker Casillas. But have you ever tried to ship a grown man to another continent? I didn't think so. It requires a lot of materials to protect against any damage being done in transit and to prevent anyone on the outside from hearing him whimper.

Strong possibility No. 2 — It wasn't really Mourinho. The reports of Mourinho visiting Ikea were based on the accounts of eye witnesses and a photo posted on Twitter of his back. This leaves a considerable degree of ambiguity. Especially when you consider the fact that Ikea has employed fake Mourinho's for marketing purposes in the not too distant past. Here's an Ikea commercial featuring a clandestine view of an actor portraying Mourinho...

So did Ikea try to capitalize on the recent news surrounding Mourinho by having their actor come into the store and shop for moving materials? It would certainly be a clever idea. But not as clever as the real Mourinho sending Casillas to Alaska.

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