Wasting no time after leading the Netherlands to a third-place finish at the World Cup, new Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal has arrived at his new place of employment and posed for several photographs. From the images it appears that Van Gaal's first day was far less harrowing than David Moyes' a year ago. But the pictures do tell an important story. So let's take a look.
Right from the start you'll notice that Van Gaal arrived wearing a pale blue suit. This was a bold and purposeful choice. The color is far closer to the sky blue of reigning Premier League champions Man City and Van Gaal surely knows this. By choosing this suit, Van Gaal is saying, "I'm coming for you, City. And when I catch you, I will wear your skin to a dinner party at Karl Pilkington's house." This isn't just talk. This is suit talk.
The importance of this image can't be overstated. Part of David Moyes' undoing at Man United was Ed Woodward, who was new to his job as the club's chief executive when Moyes came aboard. But Van Gaal in this picture, the look on Van Gaal's face as he listens to Woodward speak says, "You're talking nonsense and there is no way I am ever going to trust you with my transfer business. You look like a middle aged 12-year-old. This is the last time I will acknowledge your existence."
In this picture, the space between Van Gaal and his predecessor/new assistant manager Ryan Giggs is evident. Giggs looks uncomfortable, surely having heard the stories of Van Gaal dropping his pants in front of his team to show his testicles and demonstrate his position as the alpha. Van Gaal's creepy smile shows that he knows Giggs is thinking about his balls.
The English press has a reputation for being hard on managers, but Van Gaal has a reputation for being hard on the press. The devilish look in his eyes in this image says, "I can see into your souls. If you try and dance with me, I will destroy you from the inside and make your children call me daddy. Treat me how you like, but know that I will do the same. And I like the smell of your tears."
All told, it was a very pleasant first day for Louis van Gaal at Manchester United.
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- Louis van Gaal