Dirty TackleThe first thing you will do in FIFA 15, depending on which club you support
FIFA 15 will be released throughout the world over the course of this week, once again limiting the social lives of millions to expletive-laced tirades aimed at friends and strangers alike. Of course, those initial moments playing the new edition of FIFA are always special for every gamer and many will already know what they'll do first before they even buy the game. This largely depends on which club the gamer supports. The following is a sampling of likely first actions in FIFA 15 for various fanbases.
Barcelona — Start Luis Suarez and laugh defiantly at FIFA's inability to enforce their real-life punishments in their own video game. Then realize that he's suspended in the game's career mode until October 26th.
Chelsea — Remove Frank Lampard from Man City's roster and then cry because you know it's already too late.
Manchester United — Put Cristiano Ronaldo back on the team and enjoy the sight of his name on the squad list for several hours before even playing a match (against MK Dons on the easiest difficulty setting).
Borussia Dortmund — Attempt to delete Bayern Munich from the game.
Liverpool — Set the CPU "shot error" slider to 100 and pretend every clean sheet is the result of competent defending.
Arsenal — Score a goal with Danny Welbeck, shout "Welbz is dat guy!" and realize that this is why you have no friends.
Real Madrid — Turn bookings off and let Sergio Ramos and Pepe play the way they've always dreamed.
Bayern Munich — Feel bad about playing as such a great team and immediately bump up the difficulty setting. Then see how many times you can make Manuel Neuer run the length of the pitch without losing the ball.
Atletico Madrid — Dress in all black like Diego Simeone and try to quickly convince your roommate that you're not a goth now while the game loads.
Juventus — Check to ensure that Andrea Pirlo's beard is accurately depicted. Later realize you've gone an entire match without pressing a button.
Tottenham — Give the captain's armband to anyone other than Younes Kaboul. Create the guy from Man v Food and give it to him if you have to.
Monaco — Immediately remember that you're a prince and you should have better things to do.
Any MLS club — Look at the player ratings and sigh.
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is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT
