So many Premier League footballers have received driving bans in recent weeks that's it's difficult to name one that is actually capable of following the rules of road, but special commendation must be given to Swansea City midfielder Kemy Agustien.
The Dutchman was banned from getting behind the wheel on Wednesday after accruing 39 penalty points. Yes, 39 points. To earn a driving ban in the UK, one needs to be given just 12 points. The BBC reports:
Agustien, 26, was charged with five counts of failing to identify a driver and one of speeding, which were proved in his absence on 10 April.
The Dutch midfielder already had six points on his licence and on Wednesday he was given a further 33 by Neath magistrates for the latest offences.
His points total of 39 is 27 more than the usual banning limit of 12 points.
Agustien, who earns around £10,000 per week, was banned from driving for a year and ordered to pay a £3,135 fine, costs of £510 and a "victim surcharge" of £15 (presumably, the only "victim" was the Swansea player's dignity).
While 39 might be approaching a record tally, it's a shame he didn't earn two additional penalty points — then he would have matched the total amount of points his club have earned in the Premier League this season.
The Daily Mail say the judge lectured him about being in an "influential position" in which he should be setting an example for children, but like any other professional footballer in his position, he probably heard the judge say: "You're a rich sportsman so therefore you don't really need to obey regular-poor-people law. You get injured quite often so I'm giving you a chauffeur for a year. Now someone get this man a cocktail and a glamor model!"