Dirty Tackle

Spurs prepare their young Gareth Bale lookalike in case version 1.0 leaves

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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Just cut McEvoy's hair with a cleaver and he's ready to go. (Getty)

With Real Madrid all but ready to give Spurs their bank details in exchange for Gareth Bale, preparations are being made for the departure of the North London club's best player — namely in the form of continuing the development of genetically engineered Bale clone Kenneth McEvoy. The 19-year-old Irishman's striking resemblance to Bale has been known for a while now, so that just leaves the small task of turning him into a world class footballer.

McEvoy (pictured left, from Wednesday), who has yet to make his first-team debut, came on in the 78th minute of Tottenham's friendly against MK Dons and showed he can be goal threat, but the finishing isn't quite there yet.

From MK Web's match report:

Substitute Kenneth McEvoy looked lively on the left, and after cutting inside on the edge of the box, he shot at goal. But Shaquile Coulthirst stuck his foot out to divert the effort wide.

McEvoy went on to have three good chances in the last 10 minutes. Firstly, he struck a free kick over the bar from a dangerous position on the edge of the box after handball was given,

But the Dons defended stoically to thwart the efforts and maintain the Dons unbeaten run.

A few more tweaks from Spurs' bioengineers and he'll be attracting offers of £100 million in no time. After all, Real Madrid will want to complete the set.

But the most important part in all of this is that Shaquile Coulthirst is my new favorite name.

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