Arsene Wenger famously said that finishing fourth and qualifying for the Champions League is like winning a trophy, but after losing 3-0 to Everton, that non-existent silverware is under threat for Arsenal. After the match, Wenger admitted that it will be difficult to retain fourth place since Everton are one point back and have a game in hand. Even though Arsenal are still favorites to win the FA Cup and end their nine-year (real/tangible) trophy drought, recent history proves that it might be good to have some other trophy options at the ready.
Here are some suggestions Wenger can imagine and brag about should the worst happen.
The "W" Franco-English Cup — Awarded to the best Premier League team with a French manager whose surname begins with the letter "W."
Most Generous Fans Trophy — Awarded to the Premier League club with the supporters who are willing to pay the highest ticket prices in the league.
The Hipster Vase — Awarded to the club that finishes fifth and qualifies for the Europa League, which is more underground and much more real than the overly commercialized Champions League.
The Bendtner Crown — Awarded to any team able to endure an entire season with Nicklas Bendtner on their roster. (Arsenal are on pace to reclaim this one from Juventus and Sunderland before them.)
The Sadness Trophy — Awarded to the club that can makes their fans look like they're watching a basket of kittens slowly move down a conveyor belt towards a chopping device...
The Imagination Trophy — Awarded to the club that collectively produces the most vivid images of trophies that don't actually exist.
The Alternate Universe Cup — Awarded to the club that could be winning all of the trophies in a bizarro dimension of opposites that has yet to be discovered.
The Right Way Trophy — Awarded to the club that does things The Right Way (both on the pitch and in the board room), even if it doesn't result in actual titles or measurable footballing improvements from year to year.
The Confused Referee Cup — Awarded to the club that forever ruins the credibility of a match official without even trying.
The Gunnersaurus Cup — Awarded to the club with the undisputed greatest mascot in football (Gunnersaurus).
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