Sitting 10th in the Bundesliga table and with rumors of unpopular manager Felix Magath scheduled to get the sack after this season scurrying behind his back, Schalke managed to beat Valencia 3-1 on Wednesday to advance to the next round of the Champions League on an aggregate score of 4-2. In recent matches, Magath has tried to intimidate opponents and hide a wicked eye infection with dark sunglasses. But after losing to fellow Bundesliga underachievers Stuttgart last weekend, Felix decided to unleash his gross eyeball on his Spanish opponents. And clearly, it worked.
By scratching strategically close to his blood and puss filled eye, he made it impossible for Valencia to not get skeeved out and panic that they were now infected since they shook his hand earlier. It was such a genius mind trick that it inspired Arsene Wenger to immediately Google "how to give yourself pink eye."