When I press this button right here I go BOOM!
While the World Cup is already in full swing, there are still a number of the brightest stars and biggest teams yet to take to the pitch in South Africa. One of those stars, arguably the game's biggest, is none other than Portuguese captain/winger/striker/underwear model/hair gel sponge Cristiano Ronaldo, who is so pumped up that he might spontaneously combust at some point this month and/or unleash an unstoppable stream of ketchup on his opponents. Doesn't make sense? Cristiano explains via Portugoal.net:
“My ambition is always to be the best. I want to explode in this World Cup and I’m confident I can do so. I’m not saying that I have anything to prove to anybody. When I say I want to explode what I mean is I want to play well, have a good World Cup and help the team to win,” began Ronaldo.
Important clarification there at the end, because if C-Ron were to actually explode, I doubt it would result in him playing better or helping his team win any games. Portugal already have some serious holes, and I'd take a Drogba with no arm over a completely exploded Ronaldo seven days a week and twice on Sundays.
“I’ve got this feeling that I can help my Seleccao and that my Seleccao can help me; only together can we win something. And this is what I want to happen. On an individual level I think I had a great season, but that’s not always what counts. Real Madrid did not win anything and I’m sad about that.
“I hope to score on Tuesday. To be honest I’m not in the least worried about my lack of goals [for Portugal]. As someone said to me, goals are like a bottle of ketchup. When it appears, it all comes at once."
Interesting. It seems that Cristiano has already learned the important art of mind-blowing analogies from new Real Madrid manager and compatriot Jose Mourinho. Seriously, who else would tell him that goals are like a bottle of ketchup?
“God knows who works hard and who is deserving. I’m perfectly calm. I’ve been doing the same things that I did four years ago, three years ago, two years ago. It’s going to be like ketchup – it will all come in one go!"
God giveth ketchup and God taketh ketchup away. An important lesson of the World Cup brought to you by Cristiano Ronaldo.
- Cristiano Ronaldo