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Dirty Tackle

What Robin van Persie really meant in his statement about not renewing with Arsenal

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Robin van Persie. (Getty)

With a statement on his official website, Arsenal captain and Premier League top scorer Robin van Persie, announced that he will not renew his contract with the club. The timing and content of the statement were both curious since Arsene Wenger had just said, "We want to keep Robin van Persie at all costs, because we depend on him offensively." Yet Robin appears to be trying to achieve more with his statement than what his words actually say. So here now is a handy translation of what he is getting at.

This is an update for the fans about my current situation.

This is how I'm going to force a transfer.

I have kept quiet all this time out of respect and loyalty for the club and as agreed with Mr. Gazidis and Mr. Wenger, but since there is so much speculation in the media, I think it is fair for you guys to know what's really going on at the moment.

My agent has been planning this for a while and just decided the market is ready for me, but I'm pretending this is for you.

As announced earlier this year I had a meeting with the Boss and Mr. Gazidis after the season. This was a meeting about the club's future strategy and their policy. Financial terms or a contract have not been discussed, since that is not my priority at all.

Hahaha not!

I personally have had a great season but my goal has been to win trophies with the team and to bring the club back to its glory days.

This is all true, but I'm saying it now, right after saying that money isn't my priority, just to subtly remind you that Arsenal haven't won a trophy since 2005 and so you won't call me a mercenary. I hope. I mean, it's not like any of you are doing your cruddy jobs for anything but the most money possible.

Out of my huge respect for Mr. Wenger, the players and the fans I don't want to go into any details, but unfortunately in this meeting it has again become clear to me that we in many aspects disagree on the way Arsenal FC should move forward.

I wanted them to spend like Man City and launch Gervinho into the sun, they said "no."

I've thought long and hard about it, but I have decided not to extend my contract.

Come and get me hahahahaha!

You guys, the fans, have of course the right to disagree with my view and decision and I will always respect your opinions.

I will ignore your opinions.

I love the club and the fans, no matter what happens. I have grown up and became a man during my time with Arsenal FC.

Blah blah blah (this is just filler)...

Everybody at the club and the fans have always supported me over the years and I have always given my all (and more) on and off the pitch.

Seriously, please don't call me a mercenary, you guys.

I am very proud of being part of this fantastic club for the last 8 years. As soon as Mr. Gazidis is back from his 2-week holiday in America further meetings will follow and I will update you if and when there are more developments.

He might as well end his holiday now because I just ruined it. I will tell you when I've selected a new club. One that will actually win something and won't lose to freaking Birmingham in the Carling Cup final.

Robin van Persie

I really mean it, don't start calling me "Robin van Payme" or whatever.

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