After bringing you news of Pepe Reina's new autobiography, entitled A Really Long List of Crazy Stuff I Do Every Day, today we reveal the latest Spaniard name Pepe to put pen to paper.
Clearly unchallenged by the demands of overseeing Real Betis' triumphant return to La Liga, manager Pepe Mel will next week release his first book, called The Liar. It's not the Carlos Tevez biography that the title implies, but is in fact his debut mystery novel.
Naturally, it follows the adventures of a millionaire antiques collector who clashes with the Vatican while hunting for stolen manuscripts. Mel said:
"What I most love about writing is the process of preparing for it. The novel's plot reflects my passions, the everyday things I like."
Seriously? The everyday things he likes are conflicts with with a Christian state from the perspective of a rich man obsessed with history? Does this man coach a professional football team or does he live in a Dan Brown's head? He continues:
"It helps me to relax and between pages I might think of a way to stop Cristiano Ronaldo."
Stopping Cristiano Ronaldo should be a high priority for Mel, as his side face Real Madrid this weekend. Thankfully, he has already answered the question on every football journalist's lips this week by revealing he finds Scarlett Johansson more attractive than C-Ron.
"I never though I could write a book. It's something I do in the free time football allows me. The only thing I ask is that people have as much fun (reading it) as I had writing it."
It seems a little odd for a man in such a high-pressure, high-profile job to talk about the free time his position allows. (It's hard to imagine Steve Kean boasting about enjoying a leisurely game of golf every day). Nevertheless, Mel has already started his next literary project, which is about 17th-century Baroque painter Diego Velázquez.
FYI: If anyone can find a place selling Mel's novel, please let me know. I tried Googling 'Pepe Mel book' and everything.
UPDATE: Gracias to commenter manquepierda, who found the publisher's website.
- Cristiano Ronaldo