Hahaha this is the most comfortable race car bed I've ever had. ... Why would they combine the words "champagne" and "poo" for something that cleans your hair? ... Stretching is fun. ... I hope Pep gets me the Lego police station as my prize for scoring 200 goals. ... Maybe he'll give me a whole Lego city with boats if I score 400. ... Hahaha Ronaldo. ... The new Grand Theft Auto game looks scary. ... Is Mario Balotelli real? ... What time can I eat candy? .... Stretching is fun...
I THINK I CAN SEE MY OWN BRAIN
I'm the hero Germany needs right now, but not the one it deserves. ... They'll hunt me because I can take it. ... Because I'm not their hero. ... I'm a silent guardian, a watchful protector. ... A dark knight. ... And I'm going to put all of Philipp Lahm's favorite foods on a shelf that's a little too high for his tiny arms to reach...
Time for the disgraces. ... First, everything. Everything is a f***ing disgrace. The red cards, the losses to QPR and Arsenal, David Luiz's penalty against Genk and my surgery. All of it is a massive, cheese covered f***ing disgrace topped with extra disgrace sauce. ... Then, after all that, Kalou gave Katou's extra cat treats to Daniel Purridge instead of Kitier Katba because he said Kitier has a weight problem. That's an insensitive f***ing disgrace even if it is a medical fact. ... Then, people are celebrating Alex Ferguson's 25 years at Manchester United even though he will be there for another 150. That's an immortal f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those referees who probably give sleeping children tattoos of the Easter bunny committing suicide cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...
- Mario Balotelli