Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep

Brooks Peck
View photos

Arsene Wenger

Watching my team from the stands is always weird. ... Was that -- was that a rugby tackle?! Nope, it was one of our guys. ... Hmm, my hand tastes a bit like paper that's been in a sweaty boot. ... I wonder what Arshavin's thinking right now. ... I bet it's weird. ... I wonder what Bendtner's doing right now. ... I bet it involves pulling down his pants. ... My hand definitely doesn't taste right. ... Should probably stop licking it. ... People are going to see me and think it's weird that Arsene Wenger is licking his own hand. ... Maybe I should carve my name into Redknapp's car and tell him Ferguson did it...

View photos

Fin Bartels


View photos

Franck Ribery

My ankle -- the pain. ... I think it exploded. ... Keeping fireworks in my sock was a bad idea. ... I'm gonna pass out. ... Must pull prank before losing consciousness. ... Muller, pull my finger. ... Ugh, he can't hear my thoughts. ... Muller, I can see your underpants. Can't gather the strength to wedgie. ... Muller, I'm going to set your house on fire. ... Ugh, I'm helpless. ... Passing out. ... Failure to prank is devastating. ... Gonna pour toilet water in Muller's shoes when I wake up...

View photos

Didier Drogba

Time for the disgraces. ... First, Naomi Campbell signed an autograph for me to "Didier Dogbar." That's an illiterate f***ing disgrace! ... Then, I spilled sour cream on my new suit. That's a staining f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Chelsea got knocked out of the Carling Cup by Newcastle because I didn't play. That's a poorly selected f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Kalou got hurt and asked me if I could watch his dumb cat, Katou, until he gets better. That's an imposition and a f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Katou slept on Kitier Katba's waterbed and it sprung a leak. That's a wet f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times that those two bald referees who probably smuggle drugs that they sell to babies cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...

Photos: Getty, AP