Nicklas Bendtner would've been more excited if this was even slightly surprising to him. (Getty)
By Nicklas Bendtner
I will keep this short since you should already know my name better than your own.
I scored two goals and Cristiano Ronaldo scored none goals. Therefore I am better than Ronaldo. And since Lionel Messi isn't even in this tournament, that makes me the undisputed (your vote doesn't count) Best Player in the World. The end. I'm welcome.
Now here are some facts about me that I have decided are true:
-I have revolutionized advertising using just my underpants.
-I enjoy all humor phrases people make about me because they are about me.
-I have never read anything about you, yet you are reading about me right now. That makes me better than you. Undisputedly.
-I am the Highlander.
-I know what "undisputed" means.
-My Bendtner Bucks will replace the euro.
-All of your pizza belongs to me.
-I will ignore all words that come after this one. This two. Whatever.
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Lionel Messi