Going into Barcelona's final Champions League group stage match, Neymar had never scored a goal in all of his time in the competition (which was entirely comprised of the five previous matches). On top of that, he had never scored a hat trick since joining Barcelona (at the start of this season). Clearly, he was well on his way to becoming a total bust for the Spanish champions and would almost certainly be selling lawn furniture on the side of a country road in denmark.
Realizing he needed to do something about these matters, Neymar decided that he might as well get them both out of the way on the same night against Celtic. And so that's what he did.
With Lionel Messi injured, the 21-year-old scored in the 44th, 48th and 58th minutes as Barcelona squashed Celtic 6-1 at the Camp Nou, making him the first player to ever score a hat trick in both the Copa Libertadores and the Champions League.
Neymar goes over 450 minutes without scoring in CL, then bags three in 15 minutes [not counting half time]
— Dermot Corrigan (@dermotmcorrigan) December 11, 2013
Here's the goal that finished off Neymar's hat trick and crushed Celtic's will to live. It starts with a nutmeg and ends by deflecting off a defender.
If you have any other criticisms of Neymar, he will gladly prove them wrong at his earliest convenience.