Violence plagues football both on and off the pitch all around the world, so what better way to let fans release some extra aggression ahead of a cup final between fierce rivals than with an Internet boxing game featuring two of the teams' biggest stars? That's what Mexican site Medio Tiempo must have figured when they produced "Soccer Knockout" as a way to get Mexico fans excitedly mashing their keyboards ahead of Saturday's Gold Cup.
You are Chicharito and your nemesis in the ring is Landon Donovan, creating an odd matchup between two of the most easy-going guys they could have used. The game starts out criminally easy, with the player able to pummel Donovan with ease and Landon seems unwilling to punch back while his face turns purple, his teeth fall out and bandages magically appear on his forehead. But like the U.S.'s fortunes on the pitch against Mexico (except for the 2009 Gold Cup final, which Mexico won 5-0), Landon gets progressively harder to beat with each round, inflicting untold damage on Chicharito's angelic (and strangely prepubescent) cartoon face.
It's just a shame they didn't use Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots style head popping.
Spotted on KCKRS
- Landon Donovan