Malouda, Defoe, Lalas and Dawson come together in song

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

BBC Radio 5 live set out on the impossible mission of trying to create a listenable song using only the musical talents (or lack thereof) of footballers. So, they bumrushed players past and present with musical experience and none whatsoever to contribute bits for a song they would put together and try to convince BBC Radio 1 to play. Here's the lineup they were able to put together:

Florent Malouda (Chelsea) - drums & tambourine
Neil Danns (Crystal Palace) - vocals & egg shaker
Gareth Ainsworth (Wycombe Wanderers) - vocals
Alexi Lalas (former U.S. international) - guitar
Paul Mcveigh (formerly of Norwich City) - piano
Jermaine Defoe (Spurs) - triangle
Michael Dawson (Spurs) - giro block
Dion Dublin (formerly of Aston Villa) - 'dube'
Nobby Solano (formerly of Newcastle) - trumpet

The result? A dance track with a trumpet part thrown in there that Radio 1 decided to broadcast. It's not the best song ever, but given some of the musical abominations footballers have created in the past, it's not exactly the worst either. In fact, it kind of sounds like something you'd hear on the radio in Grand Theft Auto 3.

The song, in full, is right this way...

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The 5 Live Footballers Song by Stangers

I'm going to predict that Gareth Ainsworth will be the new singer for Creed before the end of the year.