Napoli owner Aurelio De Laurentiis is a strange man. We've already established this. He denounces his Italian citizenship and storms out of fixture draws before catching a ride on a stranger's scooter and he introduces new players to the press by putting them in lion masks. So it should come as no surprise that De Laurentiis has gone back on his previous opinion that Lionel Messi was a "cretin" and decided that he wants the brilliant Argentine to make like Maradona and move from Barcelona to Napoli. Because he now sees Messi as a tattooless dream.
De Laurentiis has not always spoken fondly of the Barcelona forward, branding him a 'cretin' following Argentina's disappointing 2011 Copa America campaign.
However, the 63-year-old appears to have changed his mind, admitting he would love to see the 25-year-old turn out at Stadio San Paolo.
"My dream is [Lionel] Messi," he told Gazzetta dello Sport. "He doesn't even have a tattoo. He's a footballing dream, and is very cinematic."
Well that's just going to make human tattoo gallery David Beckham feel even worse about himself, isn't it?
It seems De Laurentiis is implying that a lack of body art is a sign of good character, but I think it's safe to assume that no other human being on the planet would first reference a lack of tattoos when describing the greatness of Messi. Especially since Messi does, in fact, have a tattoo of his mother on his shoulder.
So when Napoli don't sign Messi, you'll know why.