After a turbulent but mostly successful five years apart for both sides, Jose Mourinho has returned to Chelsea and everyone is happy. With Chelsea hosting Hull at Stamford Bridge in their first match of the Premier League season, that happiness was given a forum to be expressed and the result was a predictable orgy of pent up mutual admiration and joy that left everyone present feeling gooey and warm.
Last season, Mourinho was grumpily hiding from the press while not getting along with many of Real Madrid's fans or players. Chelsea fans and players, meanwhile, were not getting along with unwanted interim manager Rafa Benitez. But the ideal solution for both Mourinho and Chelsea was reached over the summer and now they have again joined together as one. Mourinho set the tone with his matchday program notes, which began like this:
It is great to write again to my Blues brothers, and I start with a question: How would you feel if Mr Abramovich asked you to manage and coach our first team? How would you feel as a Chelsea supporter? Proud? Excited? Motivated? Ready? That is exactly what I felt.
That is why I introduced myself as the Happy One, that is exactly what I feel every day when I drive to Cobham or to Stamford Bridge. I am at home again; I am where I want to be again; I am, once again, in a club that is much more than my club - it is also a passion. A passion that I share with every one of you.
And once all parties arrived in the stadium, that passion was very evident...
JOSE...JOSE I'M HERE FOR YOU. JOSE...
The fans eagerly awaited Mourinho's arrival with banners and signs, but they weren't the only ones. Said stadium announcer Neil Barnett: "I'm looking forward to introducing this manager more than the last one..." Somewhere in Naples, Rafa Benitez muttered, "F*** you."
When Mourinho finally appeared, the cheers prompted him to blow a few kisses as he took his seat on the bench.
THE ADULATION FOR ME SMELLS LIKE PANCAKES AND CANDY.
Then it was down to the business of beating up on a newly promoted and outmatched opponent.
Hull goalkeeper Allan McGregor gave Chelsea an early penalty chance by slapping Fernando Torres in the head, but he made up for the silly foul by saving Frank Lampard's spot kick.
However this only delayed the inevitable as Oscar put Chelsea up 1-0 in the 13th minute. And Lampard made up for his earlier disappointment with a beautiful free kick that made it 2-0 in the 25th minute (gif here).
DEAL WITH THAT IKER CASILLAS.
THIS IS HOW A T-REX CELEBRATES.
Just how much of a charmer is Mourinho? Well, he can even bring a smile to the face of the opposing manager in the midst of beating him handily.
BASK IN MY GLORY STEVE BRUCE. BASK.
As well as the man who sacked him five years ago, Roman Abramovich.
THIS IS MORE FUN THAN YACHTS.
Having established a comfortable early lead, Chelsea were able to ride it out in the second half, crushing the will to live out of their opponents and neutrals watching at home. Mourinho's Chelsea of old resumes normal service.