Former England international Owen Hargreaves has announced that he intends to sign with Chelsea in the upcoming EA Sports video game FIFA 13. The 31-year-old midfielder, who made just four appearances with Manchester City before he was released at the end of last season, was unable to find a new club during the summer transfer window. But Hargreaves firmly believes that this move within the video game, which will be released at the end of September, will jumpstart his career.
"Hey guys," Hargreaves said on his nonexistent official Twitter account. "Just wanted to let you all know that as soon as FIFA 13 comes out, I'm going to join Chelsea. Well, I'm going to increase my strength rating and then I'm going to join Chelsea. I figured that after playing for the Premier League champions, the only way to move up would be to sign for the European champions so that's what I'll do. See you soon, Eden Hazard!"
When reached for comment, a Chelsea spokesman said, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Hazard just looked confused before walking away.
Prior to joining Man City just before the close of the transfer window last summer, Hargreaves released a series of YouTube videos showing his training regime in a bid to prove his fitness. This summer, he put together a similar series of videos depicting his gamer training in which he stood an inch away from his television screen, frantically pressing buttons on the controller and yelling swear words. In another he repeatedly sprinted to the bathroom after pausing the game.
"Clubs sign players off of YouTube all the time now. So why not off a video game?" Hargreaves mused. "Once they see what I do with the digital Owen Hargreaves in FIFA 13, they're going to realize what they're missing out on and sign the real one. And if they don't I'm also going to an online culinary school, so I'm not bothered."
- Sports & Recreation