Former Arsenal and Sweden midfielder is patiently waiting for the transfer window to reopen after a premature end to his stint in Japan with Shimizu S-Pulse. While the 35-year-old waits, he's taken the time to conduct a lengthy interview where he reveals the unexpected consequences of modeling underpants for Calvin Klein.
"Advertising was fun to do, but had unexpected consequences for my personal life. The price was simply too high," he says today.
"It sounds so cocky ... and I will not whine ... but if for example, I walked into a nightclub in London girls came back and grabbed my [crotch].
"It was happening everywhere. They came from behind, side, pulled and tugged at me. The worst part was that you could not do a damn thing about it. When I angrily removed their hands, people just laughed.
"Some people thought that I should blame myself, I had signed with Calvin Klein and played in a top team. But there was no limit to what others thought they were entitled to do."
Of course, having hordes of strangers grab at you without asking when you're at a place designed to help you find a stranger who will grab at you is still a form of abuse. And you could also say it speaks to the larger problem of how much people demand of public figures in modern society. But somewhere, David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo read this and shiver as they have flashbacks to their own nightclub crotch-honk ordeals while millions of other men wonder how much they would have to pay to make this happen for them.
Anyway, starting off by saying "it sounds so cocky" had to be an intentional pun, right?