YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

    Discover Yahoo! With Your Friends

    Explore news, videos, and much more based on what your friends are reading and watching. Publish your own activity and retain full control.

    To get started, first
    Dirty Tackle

    DT Exclusive: Carlos Tevez apologizes to Manchester City with some help

    Carlos Tevez lurks behind Roberto Mancini... (Getty)

    Five months and £10 million in fines after refusing Roberto Mancini's request that he warm up a second time during a Champions League match and then fleeing back to Argentina without permission, Carlos Tevez has apologized to the club that could not sell him. The following is a transcript of Tevez's apology, with the help of his adviser Kia Joorabchian, to the man who vowed that Carlos would never play for City again.

    Joorabchian: Roberto, if you have a minute, Carlos has something he would like to say to you. I will translate for him.

    Mancini: Fine. Go ahead, Carlos.

    Tevez: (clears his throat) Ungggh.

    Joorabchian: Carlos says, "I wish to apologise sincerely and unreservedly to everybody I have let down and to whom my actions over the last few months have caused offence. My wish is to concentrate on playing football for Manchester City Football Club."

    Mancini: He clearly did not say any of that.

    Joorabchian: Yes, he did. You know very well that Carlos doesn't speak English. Now, please, accept his apology so we can all move on.

    Mancini: He clearly didn't!

    Tevez: I did.

    Mancini: Oh, now he can speak English.

    Joorabchian: No, no, no, don't be silly! Again, Carlos does not speak English even though he's lived in England for five years. Those were just random sounds emitted by his body that happened to sound like words. He didn't mean that. He's very sorry for what happened.

    Maradona: No, he's not! You are a terrible manager, Mancini! Carlos needs someone who appreciates him and rubs his belly and gives him treats!

    Mancini: What are you doing here, Diego? This is none of your business!

    Maradona: You care too much about defending! And you're tall like a Canadian!

    Mancini: Carlos, apologize for real so we can be done with this!

    Tevez: I already did.

    Mancini: Well do it again.

    Tevez: No. I did it once, I'm not doing it again.

    Mancini: I hate you.

    Tevez: Hahaha I know.

    Maradona: I hate Pele!

    Watch Full Count!
     

    12 comments

    • Franco Was atletico madri ...  •  Beverly Hills, California  •  3 months ago
      R.I.P. EPL teams in the Champions League, We hardly knew thee.
    • Jeanatan  •  3 months ago
      Positive comment time!
      Ahaha hilarious as usual, Brooks. Loved the Maradonna cameo; next we need to see Kitier Katbou in one of these. We've already established he can speak English, after all... Looking forward to the next one!
    • jmonteithottawa  •  3 months ago
      "Maradona: You care too much about defending! And you're tall like a Canadian!"

      As a Canadian, I have just one thing to say. LOL!
    • Bubba Ray  •  3 months ago
      Clearly, we can all move on now. Mancini has been given the secret to working with Tevez by no other than Maradona- "rub his belly and give him treats."
      However, just for grins, let's see if that works on Vincent Kompany.
    • Ajay  •  3 months ago
      Very funny yet again Mr. Brooks... you should do one on: Justin Bieber, the future Barca/ Chelsea star!!! That would be funny...........
    • Christophicles  •  Santa Clara, California  •  3 months ago
      I always imagine the "hahaha" in Brooks' posts to be done in the same voice as the bad dubbed laughs in old Godzilla movies.
    • victor  •  Fracc Guadalajara, Mexico  •  3 months ago
      Brooks rocks! but Tevez is a petulant uneducated prick
      .
    • Theo  •  2 months ago
      Brooks this is brilliant. As always.
    • RDB  •  Pomona, California  •  3 months ago
      I hate yahoo "journalists"....
      • Sean 3 months ago
        then why are you on yahoo reading articles
      • Brooks 3 months ago
        I never claimed to be a journalist, RDB. And I have no idea how you could think this was intended to be a piece of journalism.
      • DJ Sobiepan 3 months ago
        It's a satirical blog man ...
    • Will Malvolio  •  Jackson, Mississippi  •  3 months ago
      Yeah, Ned, the last funny thing here was the piece where Shev tried to come back to help Chelsea. That was hilarious. Now it's like going through the motions. Burn out, I guess.
      • Brooks 3 months ago
        The only thing I'm burned out on is your constant negativity, Will.
    • Ned  •  Oakland, California  •  3 months ago
      this blog used to be funny
      • Brooks 3 months ago
        Hmm, your complimentary trial of the funny version of the blog seems to have run out, Ned. Email me and we'll get you sorted with a subscription.
    • DJ Sobiepan  •  3 months ago
      Great stuff Brooks, gold as always
      • Brooks 3 months ago
        Thanks, Sobiepan.

    Yahoo! Sports Authors