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DT Exclusive: Arsene Wenger's deadline day text messages

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle
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With important transfer business still needing to be done, Arsene Wenger spent deadline day in Rome for the Pope's Match for Peace. The following is a transcript of the text messages exchanged by Wenger and Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis throughout the day. 

Wenger: Please keep me informed today, Ivan. Maybe a good deed on this day will bring us good karma. Does the Pope believe in karma? :-/

Gazidis: I don't think so. Not sure.

Wenger: Grrrrr.

Gazidis: Don't worry Arsene, I'm confident things will go our way today. I'll keep you posted.

Wenger: Thx.

****

Gazidis: Danny Welbeck's here with the England squad. His agent offered him to us. Interested?

Wenger: Lololololololololol.

Gazidis: Ok.

Wenger: What's the dealio with Falcao?

Gazidis: Monaco want a £10m loan fee, player wants £346,000 a week. Man Utd, maybe City also interested.

Wenger: For a 28-year-old with one knee? Let United have him. They can tie him and Van Persie together and create one player with two good knees on four times the wages.

Gazidis: Haha ok.

Wenger: :-))

****

Wenger: Any other forwards? I'm starting to get the Sanogo sweats...

Gazidis: Welbeck could be best option. Wants a permanent deal, no loan. United closing in on Falcao.

Wenger: Uggggghhhhhh. Roberto Baggio is here. Maybe I should ask him to come out of retirement.

Gazidis: Haha.

Wenger: Baggio said no. Damn.

Wenger: Shevchenko overheard my offer, but I avoided his attempts to make eye contact.

****

Gazidis: So...Welbeck?

Wenger: Uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There's a little kid sitting behind me. I'll ask him if he wants to play for us.

Gazidis: I'll have Welbeck do a medical just in case.

Wenger: Kid doesn't speak English. Had no idea what I was saying.

Wenger: Ok on Welbeck medical. Just deny it if anyone asks. ;-)

Gazidis: Will do.

Wenger: ;-)

****

Gazidis: Running out of time...

Wenger: Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Gazidis: Go on Welbeck? Also, I just remembered that you said you wanted a center back a couple weeks ago.

Wenger: Fine. Yes. Welbeck could work maybe. He's young. He's been playing out of position. Maybe United didn't F him up too much. Ok, let's do this. This could work. Whatever.

Wenger: Just don't pay more than what Liverpool paid for Balotelli. That comparison could make this deal look better for us when Mario decides he wants to be a chef in Tibet next year.

Wenger: As for CB...William Gallas still unattached?

Gazidis: Are you being serious? Sarcasm sometimes gets lost in text messages. 

Wenger: Yes. Serious. :-/

****

Gazidis: Welbeck done. Have a statement for the press release?

Wenger: No thanks.

Gazidis: Ok. Here's the release

Wenger: Lost the charity match...thanks for asking.

Gazidis: Sorry.

Wenger: Never relying on Pope karma again.

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Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!

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