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Dirty Tackle

DT Exclusive: Arjen Robben challenges Man United to a game of Three-card Monte

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle
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Bayern Munich finished off Manchester United in the Champions League quarterfinals after a scare from Patrice Evra to open the scoring the second leg. Arjen Robben scored the final goal for Bayern with his signature (and only) move: cutting inside to the left. Despite how predictable he is, Robben still beat Nemanja Vidic with the well-executed move, just as he's done to so many defenders before. The following is a transcript of Arjen Robben challenging Man United to a game of Three-card Monte after the match.

Robben: Nemanja! Nemanja! Care to try your luck before you go home? Maybe you can win some money to end the evening on a positive note.

Vidic: Fine. I will play you.

Robben: Delightful! All you have to do is find the queen. But I'll tell you right now, I always put it to my left. Couldn't be easier to remember.

Vidic: Yes, I have seen you play this before. We will see.

Robben: Alright, here we go. Follow the queen and win a new spleen. OK, which one do you think it is? Remember, I always put it to my left.

Vidic: Hmm. I have seen you put it to your left against many others, but surely one time you will go the other way to trick me. I choose the one to your right.

Robben: Oh no! It actually is the one to my left! That'll be 100 euros, please.

Vidic: I want to play again. I have figured out your trick now.

Robben: OK, one more time for the out of towner. Find the queen and you'll feel like James Dean. Again, it's absolutely always to my left. It's not a trick, it's just all my body knows how to do besides fall down. So which will it be?

Vidic: The middle one.

Robben: You're sure?

Vidic: Yes. The middle.

Robben: You know for a fact that I always put it to my left, but you still want the middle card.

Vidic: Yes. It's the middle one. I know it.

Robben: Oh! So close! It was the one to my left, you silly, silly goose. That will be another 100 euros for me.

David Moyes: Step aside, Nemanja. I know how to handle this. The great Sir Alex Ferguson put his faith in me for a reason and now I will prove my tactical know-how to the world. Give it your best, Arjen.

Robben: The Chosen One wants to give it a go? OK then. Find the queen and maybe the fans won't be so mean. Which card is it? I repeat: Just say it's the one to my left and you'll be correct. I promise. Seriously. I'm starting to feel bad about this.

Moyes: It's the right one. To your right.

Robben: Wow. That's your final answer?

Moyes: Indeed it is. I only took my eyes off it for a second to make sure Sir Alex wasn't standing behind me, but yes, it's definitely the one to your right.

Robben: No, I'm sorry! You are...incredibly wrong.

Vidic: OK OK, I get it now. Do it again. I will win this time. I understand now.

Robben: One last time. Sure. Follow the queen...I can't think of any other words that rhyme with "queen" so just, for the love of all that is holy, pick the one to my left. Now...which do you choose?

Vidic: The one to your left.

Robben: Correct!

Vidic: I win!

Robben: Nope. You did choose correctly, but I just took your wallet while you did it! Champion of Europe! I am the master!

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Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!

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