Dirty TackleDiaby, Altidore, Torres, Liverpool and Middlesbrough create perfect storm of rare events
Tuesday, September 23 marked the first day of fall and it seems the seasonal change created a sort of cosmic whirlpool that allowed four incredibly rare events to all occur within hours of each other. While we wait for historians to write the volumes about this day that it so richly deserves, let's take a look at what was essentially our eyes winning the lottery four times in three hours.
Abou Diaby makes his first start in 556 days — 28-year-old French midfielder Abou Diaby has suffered 40 injuries during his eight years with Arsenal, but instead of allowing him to live in peace, covered in marshmallows and placed inside a protective bubble, Arsene Wenger had him start in a Capital One Cup match against Southampton. Though Arsenal lost this match 2-1, suffering a slightly embarrassing early elimination in the tournament, Diaby managed to play 67 consecutive minutes of football without breaking, melting, or bursting into flames. This might seem like a simple achievement, but when your body is 112 percent scar tissue, it's roughly equivalent to running a thousand marathons in a row while only drinking sea water to stay hydrated.
Jozy Altidore scores a goal in England — Before Sunderland's Capital One Cup match against Stoke, Jozy Altidore, who is a striker, had not scored a goal at the club level since last December. But in the 16th minute of a match his side would end up losing 2-1, Altidore scored from the top of the box with all the grace and power of someone falling on his backside to end his 30-match goalless streak. And with that goal in the books, the 24-year-old who scored 31 goals during the 2012/13 season in the Netherlands has given himself a very good chance of topping his personal best of two goals per season in England. The impossible dream burns ever brighter.
Fernando Torres finally remembers the password to his skills file — Once Altidore broke through the cosmic conspiracy that prevents certain players from scoring goals that are rightfully theirs, it was Torres' turn to do the same. And in the 43rd minute, with Milan down 2-0 against Empoli, Torres scored his first goal in his first start for his new club with a header that would've been given a 15-minute slow motion close-up of the ball floating into the net, intercut with shots of each person in the stadium holding their breath as they watched, had it occurred in a Hollywood film. Torres went on to show other flashes of skill that sparked hope he might rekindle whatever it was he lost at Chelsea and once again gallop through the stars like a freckled zebra.
The penalty shootout that would not end (until it finally did) — Middlesbrough came from behind twice over 120 minutes — the second time thanks to Kolo Toure doing Kolo Toure things and conceding a penalty in the final moments of injury time in extra time — to force a penalty shootout against Liverpool. A League Cup record 30 shots later, Liverpool eked through to the next round when Albert Adomah put his shot wide after converting an earlier attempt amidst a conveyor belt of goals that ended in a tally of 14-13. Even both the keepers coverted their shots.
According to Guinness, the world record for longest shootout is held by a 2005 Namibian Cup match between KK Palace and Civics that had 48 shots and ended 17-16. And once again we are reminded that even on a historic day like this, nothing can compete with the Namibian Cup.
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is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT
