Dirty Tackle

David Moyes’ harrowing first day at Manchester United in pictures

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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"They're making me drive a Chevy." (AP)

David Moyes reported for his first day as Manchester United's new manager on Monday and, as you might imagine, the experience was a trying one. Being Sir Alex Ferguson's replacement was never going to be easy and though the players haven't even returned from their summer break yet, Moyes still faced a number of challenging situations throughout the day.

Manchester United's photographer was there to provide us with a record of this jarring experience...

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"Car successfully parked! This job is going to be easier than I thought!"

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"Oh no. What did they say the passphrase was? 'Twenty league titles'? 'Glazers rule'? 'Ah yes — 'Sir Alex Ferguson is an immortal god amongst men who can never be matched.'"

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"Stairs?! No on said there'd be stairs!"

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"Why are you all laughing? All I said was 'I'm the new manager and I'm going to convince Wayne Rooney to stay.'"

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"OK, fine. I won't sign Leighton Baines. Just please calm down. I really don't want any trouble with the janitorial staff."

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"My name's on the door. My name is on the door. You can't take it back now because my name's on the door. And if this turns out to a broom closet, I'm going to freak the f*** out on all of you."

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"I'm going in. If Ferguson is waiting inside wearing a rubber apron and wielding an axe this is your last chance to do the decent thing and warn me."

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"That's right. I'm the kind of rebel who doesn't use mouse pads. Get used to it. ... Now please tell me why this desk smells like pig's blood and the tears of a thousand referees."

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"These are my human shields. The one on my left doesn't even have initials! If you have any impatient criticisms of what I do here, please direct your comments to them so I can at least try to avoid developing an ulcer before the season even starts. Thanks."

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