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    Dirty Tackle

    If it continued… (Chelsea v Manchester United)

    Wayne Rooney takes one of his two penalties while an excited Howard Webb looks on. (Getty)

    Two goals within the first five minutes of the start of the second half gave Chelsea a 3-0 lead over Manchester United at Stamford Bridge. That used to be an insurmountable advantage, but not anymore. Referee Howard Webb awarded Man United two penalties in an 11-minue span that Wayne Rooney put away before substitute Chicharito made it 3-3 with a header in the 84th minute. With a game like this, there really is just one question to ask: "What if it continued?"

    97' -- David De Gea can't wait for the match to end so he can go home and upload his save against Juan Mata's free kick to YouTube 874 times, titling each one "f*** you!!!"

    101' -- Florent Malouda finally realizes that he started this match.

    105' -- Danny Welbeck falls.

    106' -- Jose Mourinho dusts off his old Chelsea gear and wonders why Alex Ferguson didn't warn him about getting dropped in a ditch after making use of the small door into Howard Webb's mind.

    111' -- Alex Ferguson attributes Man United's comeback to his own bold fashion choices on the day.

    (@robstaton)

    119' -- Ramires is unsure why John Terry keeps hugging him every time they're shown on camera.

    124' -- Dimitar Berbatov reads a 1946 issue of Life Magazine about the birth of the bikini.

    127' -- Frank Lampard completes his third post-graduate degree since the start of the season.

    128' -- Danny Welbeck falls.

    132' -- David Luiz decides that scoring goals is more fun than defending against them.

    135' -- Jonny Evans starts looking for a house in Sunderland.

    139' -- Wayne Rooney is given a two-match ban for having the hair equivalent of swearing into a TV camera.

    140' -- Fernando Torres pulls a tremendous move to get around the last defender and finds himself all alone against De Gea. The two match each other's awkward, nervous hesitations, resulting in a never-ending stand-off in front of goal. The match is abandoned when everyone else slowly backs away, too uncomfortable to hang around.

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    32 comments

    • angie  •  Englewood, Colorado  •  3 months ago
      Kanye West breaks up the Terry-Ramires love fest and shouts, "JOHN TERRY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE!!!"
    • Ajeet  •  Dallas, Texas  •  3 months ago
      142' -- David Luiz falls and begins giggling and twitching uncontrollably on the pitch. Eventually Roman Abramovich becomes fed up and buys Fábio Aurélio from Liverpool as a replacement for £82 million. Kenny Dalglish cackles from underneath the bridge he guards.
    • Pranav K  •  3 months ago
      133', Wayne Rooney walks up to Fernando Torres and asks for advice. Torres, instantly flattered asks if it is about scoring goals, and Rooney replies "Are you joking? No, I just want thick flowing hair." Torres reaches into his pocket and pulls out hair gel as he is always prepared.
    • Morz  •  Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania  •  3 months ago
      I wasn't expecting the Being John Malkovich reference in there.
    • brownieschampionship  •  Columbus, Ohio  •  3 months ago
      I feel like 140' already happened...I thought these were theoretical Brooks...
    • CodyE  •  Knoxville, Tennessee  •  3 months ago
      137' Howard Webb forgets who he owes a make-up penalty to next....asks Rooney. Evra has a disgusted look on his face since webb didn't ask him. Torres and de Gea discuss hair products.
    • The Borg  •  New York, New York  •  3 months ago
      Ibra didn't run onto the pitch this time and slap someone?
    •  •  3 months ago
      LOL... United can come back even from a 3:0 down??

      What happened to Chelsea's defense?
    • Frank  •  Reedley, California  •  3 months ago
      138“ blue team was rewarded a pk, and f,torres missed the pk by 10 feets, people laughing at torres so loud that webb had to call off the match.
    • mexicano no. juan  •  3 months ago
      hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha thats funny stuff
    • Ivan  •  Houston, Texas  •  3 months ago
      lol you had me at the very first one. De Gea was fantastic in the 2nd half.
    • Matthew W  •  3 months ago
      Rooney's hair is downright natural compared to Raul Merieles'!!!
    • ali  •  3 months ago
      if the game continue man u will win
    • andrew  •  3 months ago
      Johnny Evans starts looking for a house in Sunderland. Classic.
      • Hosung 3 months ago
        At this rate, they'll use Sunderland v. Man U as Ryan Giggs' tribute match.
      • Clay 3 months ago
        I think Utd fans could raise the funds to buy the house for him...
    • Raymond  •  Nairobi, Kenya  •  3 months ago
      I loved the way Scholes killed Chelsea midfield.....that was remarkable
    • ..  •  Poughkeepsie, New York  •  3 months ago
      153- match ends and howard webb is awarded Man U's Man Of The Match
      • Matt B 3 months ago
        i'm not going to try to argue that the 2nd penalty call was correct, but come on, how about cahill's takedown of wellbeck in the first half? even if it's outside the box, that is a red card. i can only imagine that the questionable penalty was a make-up for that travest of a no-call. it's not like webb handed the game to man u on his own.
      • Raaaabert 3 months ago
        No argument, Webb was definitely the Man O the Match.
      • Jorge A 3 months ago
        Mr Webb made 1 million off bets.
    • Mehoff  •  Denver, Colorado  •  3 months ago
      106'- nice being john malkovich reference
    • Lucas  •  Santa Barbara, California  •  3 months ago
      145' Van Persie starts and finishes a hat trick.
    • frasnap  •  Washington, District of Columbia  •  3 months ago
      139' - genius, especially given events later that day in a certain other football event.
    • tim  •  Corpus Christi, Texas  •  3 months ago
      the last one is hilarious....i can definitely see that happening

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