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Dirty Tackle

If it continued… (Barcelona v Real Madrid, Copa del Rey quarterfinal)

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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Iker Casillas performs a showtune during the second leg. (Getty)

Despite a valiant second-half comeback, Real Madrid could only manage a 2-2 draw in the second leg of their Copa del Rey quarterfinal against Barcelona, who advanced on a 4-3 aggregate score. The hot-tempered match was truly a clasico and leaves us to once again ask, "What if it continued?"

97' -- The ball takes an odd bounce off a Sergio Busquets shaped imprint in the pitch.

101' -- Inspired by Paul Scholes coming out of retirement to help Manchester United, Cristiano Ronaldo attempts to convince Zidane to do the same for Real Madrid. Ronaldo's offer of a lifetime supply of hair gel does nothing to sway the Frenchman.

106' -- Pedro's mustache is found to be in violation of several local indecency laws, yet no one has the balls to go after it.

112' -- Having scored in both legs, Ronaldo vows that anyone who accuses him of not performing in big games will get "Pepe'd into an ugliness coma."

118' -- Sitting on the bench after coming off in the 61st minute for Jose Callejon, Kaka realizes that he actually started in this match. He fears he is stuck in a dream state and is actually very late for a rehab session.

123' -- Eric Abidal gives his wallet to a child in the crowd. "But I didn't ask for this," the child says. Abidal gives him a second wallet.

129' -- Pepe gives his shirt to a different child in the crowd. "But I didn't want this, you #%@!," the child says. Pepe gives him a boot to the baby teeth.

134' -- To celebrate Xavi's 32nd birthday, Cesc Fabregas holds up a sign that reads: "I am not suffering." Xavi considers this the best birthday present he has ever received.

140' -- Confident that Real will not win, the Copa del Rey trophy weeps tears of joy, knowing that it is safe from the sadistic abuse of Sergio Ramos.

145' -- The match is abandoned when referee Fernando Teixeira Vitienes suffers a severe panic attack upon being swarmed by both teams looking to get their opponents booked.

146' -- Jose Mourinho decides that winning La Liga and the Champions League combined with last year's Copa del Rey still counts as a treble.

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