Scotland hosted the United States in a friendly that ended in a 0-0 draw. It was about as dire as you would expect from a match between one team that already failed to qualify for the World Cup and one that already booked their ticket with seven long months to go until the tournament or any meaningful Euro 2016 preparations begin.
The best part of the match was by far the beard USA goalkeeper Tim Howard has been growing for months now (and the performance from the man attached to it wasn't bad, either). It has reached a level where pirates who have been dead for hundreds of years are reanimating just to feel the inadequacy of not having a beard as rugged and powerful as Tim Howard's.
Look at it...
Look at it!
It will fight Andrea Pirlo's beard and it will use a toothbrush fashioned into a shiv to ensure a bloody, merciless victory! Bow before it! Bow!
Anyway, that was the Scotland-USA match.