Dirty Tackle

  • Footballers tell their scariest stories for Halloween

    Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle1 day ago

    Roy Keane

    You want a scary story, do you? Fine. I'll give you one. There once was a bitter old man called Sir...Andrew...Shmerguson. He was very good at what he did for a living, which was managing a very successful shop of some sort — it doesn't matter what kind, so don't bother asking. But what does matter is that he was a liar and wouldn't know loyalty if it punched him in the face, which it might if it ever sees him in person again.

    The moral of this story — and yes, this is a scary story with a moral, so deal with it — is that I'm coming for you Shmerguson. I don't care that you're old. The devil is old too and no one holds back on him. So you'd better watch yourself because when I'm through with you, you'll be thinking Alf-Inge Haaland got off easy.

    That said...happy Halloween, everyone.

    Michael Owen

    It was an unusually sunny Tuesday morning. The stairs creaked as I walked down them, which I thought was strange since I had just had a new Italian marble staircase put in. It was very expensive. I then realized that it wasn't the stairs creaking, but my knees. They always do that, so it made a lot more sense than it being the stairs. 

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