(Instalazio Instagram)

Two weeks ago, Lazio defeated AS Roma in the Coppa Italia final at their shared home, the Stadio Olimpico.

Rather than immediately rub the victory into the faces of their fierce Rome rivals, Lazio fans showed the utmost pretend decorum and pseudo-respect by waiting until Saturday to stage a joke funeral procession, complete with play-acting priests and mock mourners...

With the score 0-0 shortly before halftime in an Argentine Primera Division match on Saturday, Belgrano keeper Juan Carlos Olave stopped San Martin striker Claudio Riano at the top of the box by spearing him in the midsection with his boot. Olave was shown a yellow for his frowned upon technique, but San Martin eventually got their revenge by scoring twice in the final 16 minutes of the match to win 2-0.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

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Belgium beat Serbia 2-1 in a World Cup qualifier on Friday with Kevin De Bruyne scoring the match's first goal. In CNN's recap of the day's matches, they shared the startling revelation that De Bruyne "could be the next Belgian to move to the Premier League -- he's being linked with Chelsea." De Bruyne, who signed with Chelsea at the end of the January 2012 transfer window, spent last season on loan at Werder Bremen.

(CNN)

(Facebook)

Norway eliminated England from the European U-21 Championship with a 3-1 win — a victory so comfortable that at least one Norway fan was spotted doing some knitting at the end of the game. England are in last place in Group A with a pair of losses in their first two matches and one left to play (against Israel).

Perhaps the England players will take a cue from this Norwegian fan and actually get something productive done during that final match.

Previously in knitting fans: Arsenal supporter slapping the sticks during a loss to Man City

On the back of beating Germany's B team in a friendly last weekend, The United States took a 2-1 win in a World Cup qualifier against Jamaica to avenge a painful loss there in the previous round of qualifying. After the USA surrendered the lead built by a 30th-minute Jozy Altidore goal in the 89th minute, defender Brad Evans scored a surprising winner in the second minute of injury time to snatch back three points for his side. It was ultimately an encouraging, yet flawed performance. So let's get to the facts of the night:

-USA manager Jurgen Klinsmann used the same starting XI that he did in the match against Germany, marking the first time he has ever repeated a starting XI in his two years with the team.

-This was Brad Evans' first international goal of his career (10 caps in four years). He celebrated that momentous occasion by completely cover his head in his shirt like a blind luchador. From now on he shall be known as The Headless Goalman.

It's been a relatively calm and fruitful period for Mario Balotelli since he joined Milan from Man City in January. But in the second half of Italy's World Cup qualifier against the Czech Republic, Balotelli's old proclivity for getting sent off popped up at an inopportune time. The 22-year-old was booked twice in a span of four minutes for a couple of needless fouls, resulting in a sending off in the 72nd minute. Balotelli then let out his frustration by punching one wall of the tunnel and kicking the other (1:00 into the video above).

You could argue that the second yellow was a bit soft, but after the match, Italy manager Cesare Prandelli said that Balotelli needs to manage his temper better. From Football Italia:

“Balotelli has to learn how to accept situations and he needs to grow in that sense. We will drum that message into him. I was going to substitute him, but I didn’t have time,” confessed Prandelli.

The match between group leaders Italy and the third-place Czechs ended in a 0-0 draw. Italy remain undefeated through seven matches in this final stage of qualifying.

UPDATE: After sleeping on it, Mario Balotelli decided to apologize for getting sent off. From his Twitter account:

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Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has admitted that his primary interest in wantaway Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney is an unquenchable thirst for revenge. Last summer, Arsenal begrudgingly sold the Premier League's top scorer, Robin van Persie, to the eventual Premier League champions. Now, Wenger craves a chance to turn the tables.

"There are obviously strikers who are cheaper, younger and better than Rooney," Wenger told reporters. "But the opportunity to beat Manchester United with their poster boy makes my body tingle more than listening to Sade's greatest hits at a nudist camp. Normally the thought of spending £200,000 a week on the wages of one player makes me want to crawl into the fetal position and have Steve Bould spray me with a fire hose, but this would be so worth it."

Wenger's admission comes after Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis declared that the club will dramatically increase the funds available to bolster the squad this summer and that they can now afford

Michael Essien is hosting a charity match in Ghana and to raise awareness, he enlisted some of his Real Madrid teammates to record a video message. The tricky part? He asked them to do it in English.

The last time a Real Madrid player attempted to record a message in the foreign tongue, it was Sergio Ramos and he was mocked by a lower division club. This time, Ramos did not take part, but the likes of Marcelo, Kaka, Luka Modric and Ricardo Carvalho struggled with it in his place.

Cristiano Ronaldo proficiently enough, but things quickly go down hill when Marcelo says his name is Michael Essien. Sami Khedira took the task very seriously, while Carvalho expressed his support for "the game of dope." Karim Benzema didn't even try and Mesut Ozil eventually said the line like he was trying to pick you up at a bar.

Anyway, credit to all for trying and hopefully we can turn Carvalho's game of dope into a reality in the near future.