A man in a Wayne Rooney costume at the Carnival parade in Rio's Sambadrome. (Reuters)

The Uniao da Ilha samba school made the second night of the Carnival parade in Rio de Janeiro's Sambadrome even more enjoyable by dressing up as cartoonishly distorted footballers. And what better footballer to give such a treatment to than Wayne Rooney?

In a representation that highlights the hair transplant he got this year, the dancin' Rooney marched along with his Brazilian counterparts. He was also far from the most unsettling member of the group...

Arsene Wenger smirking. (Getty)

Following a disastrous week that included a 4-0 Champions League loss to Milan and getting knocked out of the FA Cup by Sunderland, virtually ensuring a seventh straight year without a trophy for Arsenal, manager Arsene Wenger has addressed growing calls for his resignation.

"There has been a lot of conversation about whether I will remain with Arsenal or leave," Wenger told reporters. "But I will tell you that I am still committed to this project. So committed that I will continue to manage Arsenal until the day Theo Walcott wins the Ballon d'Or or the day Andrei Arshavin scores four goals in a Premier League match again. Whichever comes first. Or at all. Only then will my work here be complete."

Walcott has thus far failed to keep pace with Wenger's own expectations of him developing into a "prolific goalscorer" like Thierry Henry. Arshavin, meanwhile, is the subject of a missing persons case in London that has prompted 12 detectives to suffer psychological breakdowns and leave the

The Bundesliga's rich tradition of fans throwing missiles onto the pitch continued over the weekend, when an unruly Hamburg supporter launched a plastic cup at Werder Bremen's Marko Marin.

While heading towards the corner flag, the winger was struck on the ankle, creating such an enormous centrifugal force that he was swept off his feet. To be fair, it does appear that there is a solid object — like a lighter — within the cup, and that might hurt when thrown from distance. It's all very well to criticize Marin's reaction, but perhaps we should be aiming our contempt at the chumps who think it's great fun to try and injure the football players they pay to come and see.

A floor plan to help those plotting an Oceans 11-style raid on Henry's house (dailymail.co.uk)

Despite living and working an Atlantic Ocean away from England's capital, Thierry Henry is planning to demolish his $9.5M London mansion in order to build... a slightly different mansion. A significant difference will be a 40-foot fish tank, which will be visible on every floor of the property. The Daily Mail reports:

Stretching 40ft from the bottom of his house to the very top, it will take 5,500 gallons of water to fill, house 300 fish and cost a staggering £250,000 [$400,000] to build. His proposals detail the extravagant four-storey aquarium.

As well as the vast cost of construction, the 15ft long by 3ft wide tank will set Henry back £12,000 [$19,000] a year to run, including weekly inspections at about £50 [$80] an hour. The annual bill for fish food alone would be £2,500 [$4,000].

That seems like an awful lot of money for fancy fish. If Henry wanted to see something witlessly float around without achieving anything, he should just watch some of Andrei Arshavin's recent

A young Lionel Messi superfan wanted his favorite player carved into his hair, so he went to his barber and let the masked man go to work. The result...is this.

The image of Messi came out looking more like Leo after a face transplant performed by Pablo Picasso. Which, depending on how you look at it, is either unfortunate or kind of awesome.

The kid is lucky that his barber can at least be trusted to actually stick to the Messi theme and not prank him with a Cristiano Ronaldo on the back of his head.

Second-choice goalkeeper Marco Storari was very excited about Fabio Quagliarella's 81st-minute goal to put Juventus up 3-1 against Catania. He was so excited that he decided to dive-bomb his teammate's celebration, landing on their heads and smashing the goalscorer in the noggin.

Quagliarella did not appreciate this, so he shoved Storari away before tending to the bump on his head and wishing that Zlatan Ibrahimovic was around to slap Storari in the face again.

Esteban Granero tries to warm Kaka with his body heat. (Reuters)

Real Madrid have traveled to the arctic tundra of Moscow to begin their Champions League round of 16 tie against CSKA and the sub-zero temperatures appear to have frozen Kaka solid.

Said Jose Mourinho (via Reuters):

"Minus 10 (degrees Celsius) outside is not the same as a plus 15," Mourinho told reporters in reference to the sub-zero temperatures in the Russian capital.

"Then you must play on a plastic pitch, which is not easy, especially in cold weather."

The cold weather was on the minds of both players and staff before they even left Madrid. But Sergio Ramos made sure anyone who was reluctant to go still did...

Barcelona came back from conceding a 9th minute goal to beat Valencia 5-1 on Sunday. Lionel Messi scored four of those goals just because he can, but with Barca up 3-1 in the 77th what seemed like a routine substitution of Thiago for Cesc Fabregas got a little frisky. Fabregas gave Pep Guardiola a hug as he made his way to the bench, but after the two exchange a few calm words, Guardiola shoved Cesc by the back of the neck. Cesc laughed it off, but Guardiola didn't seem so happy.

Guardiola and Fabregas did share a laugh as they walked off the pitch after the final whistle, so this was probably just a "heat of the moment" type situation. Or Arsene Wenger temporarily seized control of Pep Guardiola's body and finally released some pent-up frustration.