Oh Wojciech. (FourFourTwo Magazine)

Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny stopped tweeting last month, citing a need to "grow up." But now he might want to stop granting interviews to magazines.

Milan dismantled Arsenal 4-0 in the first leg of their Champions League round of 16 tie, making the second leg at Emirates Stadium an exercise in futility. After the game, Arsene Wenger admitted (via Reuters) that "we were beaten everywhere" and that "realistically we are out of this competition."

And so Szczesny's attempt to prod Arsenal's North London rivals in the latest issue of FourFourTwo magazine now seems all the more hilarious. "The draw is exciting," Szczesny is quoted as saying. "Tottenham beat Milan last year, so we're clearly capable of doing that!"

Clearly!

Early in the second half of last Saturday's Jupiler League match between Lierse and Zulte Waregem, linesman Frederick Geldhof was struck in the back of the head by a mystery object. As soon as it hit, Geldhof fell to the ground and scrambled onto the pitch, away from whatever attacked him. Disoriented and in pain, the match was momentarily stopped so Geldhof could be treated.

Oddly enough, the only foreign object found at the scene was a bit of cardboard that didn't seem capable of causing such a reaction. After the match, Geldhof clarified that what he felt did not feel like flimsy cardboard (via 101gg):

"My head was struck by an object. and I thought it was a block of ice. I was dizzy and thought I would faint… I heard later that it was a piece of cardboard... It's no laughing matter. I am father of two children and my daughter sent a text message because she was worried."

If you watch the start of the video closely, it looks like the object that hits him is white and not a brown

Arsenal fans being courteous guests. (Getty)

When visiting a foreign land, it's important to locate their most iconic cathedral and get to work on your day drinking right in front of it. And as seasoned European travelers, Arsenal fans did just that outside Milan's Piazza del Duomo ahead of Wednesday night's Champions League match.

From Football Italia:

This afternoon at around 16.00 local time (15.00 in the UK) the 200 English fans were drinking in Piazza Duomo when there was an exchange of insults with two passing Rossoneri supporters.

According to the Italian news reports, they started chasing the pair into the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele before they were ordered to stop by a plain clothes police officer.

This riled up the Arsenal fans, who began hurling beer cans and glass bottles, leaving debris all over the Piazza.

Riot police were then called in. The clashes that ensued resulted in one Arsenal fan with a minor head injury and another in police custody. And that's how the attempt to build a full-sized beer can duomo ended

Michel Platini (not the French UEFA president, but the Brazilian striker) recently moved from CSKA Sofia to Dinamo Bucharest -- a transfer unusual in the sense that just the week before he made the switch, Platini sparked a brawl between the two sides and kicked the snot out of one of his new teammates.

During the friendly between CSKA and Dinamo, did not appreciate Laurentiu Rus' cynical attempt to tackle him from behind, so he kicked him. Repeatedly. That started a brawl and Platini smashed another one of his soon-to-be teammates with a knockout punch to the head.

Both Platini and Rus were sent off, so that's at least one thing they have in common and can bond over as new teammates.

Andre Villas-Boas looking confused. (Getty)

On the same day as reports that Chelsea players responded to Andre Villas-Boas harsh critique of their recent performance by giving it right back to him, Porto president Pinto da Costa announced that Villas-Boas is being undermined by players who still exchange text messages with Jose Mourinho. Though Villas-Boas is confident that he has Roman Abramovich on his side, this is a troubling situation for him. The following is a transcript of Villas-Boas' training-ground argument with his players.

AVB: Losing to Everton, wasting a three-goal lead on Manchester United. Chelsea should not do this. Chelsea must not do this. You are making too many errors and it is inexcusable.

Daniel Sturridge: You're inexcusable.

AVB: Excuse me?

Florent Malouda: Maybe we're not playing well because of you. I'm 110 percent sure that's why I'm not playing well. I'm also blaming the Mayans.

Frank Lampard: Everyone said you would be like Jose Mourinho, but you're not. If anything you're Jose Snoreinho.

Ashley Cole: Yeah. And you never let us shoot the work experience kids with air guns!

Does she get the champagne after she's ironed your shirts, Carlton?While most of us spend the evening of Valentine's Day either crammed into an overcrowded restaurant or crying tears of loneliness into an empty Ben & Jerry's carton in the company of an expansive stuffed toy collection (just me?), many professional footballers have to go to work.

Carlton Cole helped West Ham stay atop the Championship Tuesday night with a draw against fellow title contenders Southampton, but not before treating the special lady in his life to a platter of Valentine's treats. In a picture uploaded to his Twitter, the Hammers striker kept the flames of sexism burning with an iron, washing up liquid, fabric softener and a host of other household cleaning products. After this, it's safe to say that the only thing that got lucky in the Cole household Tuesday night was his laundry.

Sure, this picture is probably a hilarious tongue-in-cheek joke, but the last time CC attempted to use Twitter for comic effect it didn't go down very well.

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Thierry Henry carries Alex Song (and Arsenal). (Getty)

When Arsenal brought club legend Thierry Henry back for a short loan spell, they probably thought he would provide a morale boost for the squad and impart a bit of wisdom to the youngster. In addition to that, the 34-year-old striker has actually been a spark on the pitch and scored two match-winning goals to keep Arsenal alive in the FA Cup and propel them into fourth place in the Premier League.

Now, after failing to extend Henry's loan from the New York Red Bulls, Arsene Wenger admits that this wasn't at all what he expected. From the BBC:

"We didn't expect him to be so important for us when he signed," he added.

"His talent on the pitch is still much sharper than I expected after being out in the States.

"I expected him to have more health problems because at the end of the day he left top, top European level football because he was a bit concerned about his knee problems, but he's in good shape."

Sounds like Arsene learned something about the quality of MLS and that footballers

Olympiakos goalkeeper Balazs Megyeri used defender Olof Mellberg to break his fall after clearing a free kick in the 32nd minute of Tuesday's Europa League win over Rubin Kazan. Mellberg appeared woozy and disoriented as Megyeri tried to shake it out of him after calling over the team doctor.

The former Aston Villa defender was able to walk off the pitch, but he went straight to a Moscow hospital, reportedly with "symptoms of a concussion and amnesia." Asking him if he remembers his time with Juventus wasn't exactly a fair question, though.

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