Legendary Brazilian free kick specialist Juninho plays for New York now and though he hasn't scored his first goal for his new club yet, he has earned his first red card for kicking the ball an unsuspecting goalkeeper.

With New York down 1-0 to Sporting Kansas City, Juninho's night ended in the first minute of injury time when he showed off his dead ball skills by kicking what was supposed to be a goal kick at keeper Jimmy Nielsen for no good reason. Nielsen made the most of the bizarre incident by covering his face and going limp even though the ball didn't hit him in the face. The 38-year-old former Lyon midfielder was shown a red card and New York went on to finish off the loss without him.

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Inter lost 3-2 in the second leg of their Coppa Italia semifinal against Roma to be eliminated on an aggregate score of 5-3, but their melancholy vibe began long before the match even started. And if their banners at the San Siro are an indication, that feeling has been growing since Jose Mourinho left the club after winning the treble in 2010.

"After Mourinho we feel like orphans of someone who knows how to convey the sense of belonging to these colors," read the banners draped from the upper level of the stadium that could be lyrics from an upcoming Morrissey song.

They've had five managers since Mourinho left for Real Madrid starting with an embarrassing five months under Rafa Benitez and now with Andrea Stramaccioni, who has Inter sitting seventh in the Serie A table this season. Mourinho recently said he would not return to Inter next season, but that he'd "like to go back one day."

Inter fans weren't the only ones invoking Mourinho's name in recent days. Chelsea fans continued their pleas for Mourinho to save them from Rafa Benitez's stint as interim trophy killer during Chelsea's FA Cup semifinal loss to Man City at Wembley on Sunday with a flag that read "Special. Genius. Legend. Jose, come home."

As for Benitez, who also said that he would like to return to former club Liverpool, well, Brendan Rodgers has made it clear that he's not welcome.

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Still with a comfortable 13-point lead in the table, Man United left Upton Park with just a 2-2 draw against West Ham because they are desperate to feel the distant memory of domestic competition. That whimsical mood was shared by West Ham striker Andy Carroll.

Perhaps inspired by Fernando Torres' improved form while wearing a superhero mask, Carroll attempted to prove his worth by flying like a dragon crossed with a unicorn. Instead, he slammed into Man United goalkeeper David De Gea like a ponytailed meteor. Carroll was not booked for his dangerous expression of imagination and that upset Alex Ferguson.

From the Telegraph:

“We know how they play, it’s ball in the air most of the time,” Ferguson said. “They are very, very aggressive. You hope there’s a strong referee. I’m not so sure we got that. It was a red card. There is not a doubt about that. The referee did see it but didn’t see it as a red card. I think it’s obvious. We had to stand up to a lot there.”

But Carroll professed

Jose Mourinho toasts himself. (Getty)

For the first time since Forbes began tracking the value of football clubs in 2004, Manchester United are not the world's most valuable team. Coincidentally, that title has gone to the club that controversially knocked them out of the Champions League this season — Real Madrid. And though there are a slew of economic factors that contribute to Real Madrid's rise, Jose Mourinho will surely consider the fact that this development occurred during his time with the club as yet another great achievement for the man he calls The Special/Only One (himself).

From Forbes:

It is not that the Red Devils have faltered. It is just that Los Merengues are simply bigger, more profitable and growing faster than Manchester United.

Real Madrid, which posted revenue of $650 million during the 2011-12 season, is worth $3.3 billion, more than any team in the world. Los Merengues generated operating income (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization and player trading) of $134 million,

Jozo Gašpar performing his duty as a credit card inspector (jutarnji.hr)

Josip 'Jozo' Gašpar played for Dinamo Zagreb for most of the 1990s, and was most recently the coach of Croatian lower league side NK Prečko Zagreb. The former midfielder, however, was relieved of his managerial duties at the beginning of April due to an incident in which he apparently stole a player's credit card and used it to buy an unfathomable amount of alcohol.

Translated from 24sata.hr:

The Dinamo legend was fired because he is suspected of stealing a credit card from one of his own players from the locker room! Supposedly, he used the card to purchase 36 bottles of Jägermeister.

According to Croatian news site jutarnji.hr, the Jäger spending spree cost nearly 4,000 Croatian Kuna (about $680). Jozo tried to return to the same liquor store to buy even more delicious German digestifs (because 36 bottles weren't enough, obviously) but the transaction was declined as he had exceeded the credit limit of the card. At this point, he was also recognised by the store surveillance camera

The Newcastle supporter who punched a police horse amidst the violence in the city center following Sunday's 3-0 loss to Sunderland quickly gained a level of international notoriety that he hasn't enjoyed. So now he's issuing a heartfelt public apology along with a declaration of his love for animals (when he's not punching them).

From The Mirror:

Tearful Barry Rogerson, 45, sobbed: “I reacted stupidly. I did not go out to attack a horse.”

He added: “I love animals – I’ve got three dogs, a fish pond out the back and I feed foxes across the road.”

As bad as the police horse incident was, when Newcastle were relegated in 2009, Barry punched every single fish in that pond.

Rogerson, an unemployed factory worker who is on disability benefits due to a lung condition "claims he panicked when police horse Bud was startled by a firecracker and bolted in front of him." But instead of running away from the startled animal, he started punching. And for that he is sorry. And he would also like

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Late in Man City's 2-1 win over Chelsea in the FA Cup semifinals, Sergio Aguero went unpunished for a bizarre two-footed lunge into David Luiz's rear end. The FA later ruled that Aguero would not face retrospective action for the tackle, but the Argentine has still heeded his Brazilian opponent's request for an apology.

Aguero publicly announced his private apology on his Facebook page. He said:

I've contacted David Luiz and apologized for what happened during the match. It was an impulse reaction that shouldn't have happened.

The impulse to go surfing on someone's backside is an unusual one, but it sounds like Aguero has learned from this.

UPDATE: David Luiz used his Twitter account to thank Aguero for the apology. Hooray for social media!

Thank you @aguerosergiokun for a demonstration of character. We get to know great man and athletes this way.

— David Luiz (@DavidLuiz_4) April 16, 2013

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During Manchester United's 2-0 win against Stoke last weekend, Robin van Persie scored his first goal for Manchester United in over two months. Though it was only penalty and Man United were already beating their relegation threatened opponents at the time, Van Persie was still understandably excited. So, he ran over to manager Alex Ferguson and gave him a big hug. "He nearly killed me!" joked Ferguson after the match. "He forgets I'm 71."

In the days since, Van Persie's teammates have apparently been giving him a bit of guff for his celebration. From Man United's official website:

"It has been difficult for Robin. He has had a lot of stick from us. For two or three days we have been getting at him!" [Patrice] Evra joked, when asked by PA Sport andTalksport about the goal celebration.

"To be fair, Robin told us he was really emotional. He had not scored for 10 games. He just showed the passion and the way he wanted to win. He said to us: 'Hands up guys, it was an emotional game. I did