(Instagram @susanawerner)

With QPR's relegation from the Premier League imminent, there's a good chance goalkeeper Julio Cesar will be wearing a different shirt next season. Yet the Brazilian appears to be getting ahead of himself by wearing a full Chelsea kit to countryman David Luiz's fancy dress-themed 26th birthday party.

Luiz and Cesar could have made things very easy for themselves by dressing up as Sideshow Bob and Buzz Lightyear for the celebration, but their outfits appeared to be inspired by south west London, with the Blues defender dressing as a Chelsea pensioner. The picture above was uploaded to Instagram by Cesar's partner Susana Werner, but now appears to have been removed.

UPDATE: Cesar has now issued a statement via the QPR website, claiming he and his family dressed as Luiz as a "joke" and that he did not wish to cause any offence. He does not use the words "sorry" or "apologize".

A host of Chelsea stars turned up to the party, which also commemorated Mikel John Obi's 26th birthday...

BK Häcken goalkeeper Christoffer Kallqvist was put under pressure by a backpass from one of his own players during Sunday's Swedish Allsvenskan league match with Mjällby AIF.

Rather than hoof the ball away like most shot stoppers in this high-pressure situation, Kallqvist decides to control it and take on approaching striker Marcus Ekenberg. The risky decision paid dividends when the keeper pulled off an outrageous nutmeg (i.e. he put the ball between his opponent's legs) with his left foot, before clearing it to safety. He even earned a smile and a high five from the humiliated striker for his efforts.

One can only imagine that Ekenburg was distracted by the sound of the goalkeeper's huge titanium cojones clanging together as he pulled of this potentially suicidal manoeuvre.

(Twitter)

In the immediate aftermath of Luis Suarez biting Branislav Ivanovic's arm during Liverpool's match against Chelsea on Sunday, the cosmos aligned when Mike Tyson began following Suarez on Twitter. Tyson became the world's most famous professional athlete to have bitten an opponent when he took a chunk off Evander Holyfield's ear during a match in 1997 and though Suarez has now done it twice, he probably still retains that title.

So how did this widely publicized bit of Internet perfection come about? Tyson was asked about it on North Carolina sports talk radio's The David Glenn Show. Said Tyson (audio here):

"I just sort of got on the the Twitter thing and I said hey, um, this is an interesting guy, let me follow him, check him out, see what his journey's all about. You know, he bit somebody, you know s*** happens, you know what I mean? I'm sure he made amends with his guy, I made amends with Evander, and we go on with our lives."

Though Suarez claimed that Ivanovic accepted his

(Márcio Iannacca)

Now that Neymar has that sweet, sweet comic book money rolling in, he apparently decided to treat himself to a watch that can be seen from space. Upon arriving Belo Horizonte for national team duty, the congregated reporters, including those from Globoesporte, couldn't help but notice the sparkling dinner plate strapped to his wrist. Encrusted in diamonds and featuring the Brazilian flag and his initials (roughly the same size as the part that actually tells time), the watch will probably greatly improve the 21-year-old's upper body strength.

So if he ever needs to know what time it is or what his initials are in the most sparkly way possible, he's covered.

Manchester United completed their leisurely stroll to a record 20th league title with an all too easy 3-0 win over relegation threatened Aston Villa. After the match, Man United players and staff celebrated their title clinching win with the excitement of an accountant after realizing a new way to decrease his client's tax bill.

In the subdued mix of it all, a fan tossed a fake severed arm onto the pitch, which a smiling Patrice Evra picked up and pretended to bite. It seemed to be a reference to Luis Suarez's second opponent biting incident during the Liverpool-Chelsea match a day earlier from the man Suarez was found guilty of racially abusing last season. Either that or it was the result of the human sacrifices that have brought Alex Ferguson and Man United their success.

Coincidentally, Evra has now won a Premier League title for each of the five fingers on that hand during his time with Man United.

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(Getty)

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has apologized to Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic for biting him on the arm during Sunday's match and now he has bizarrely tried to complement him by saying that Serbians taste better than the Dutch. Ivanovic, a Serbian international, is the second player Suarez has bitten during a match. In 2010, while Suarez was playing for Ajax, he bit Dutchman Otman Bakkal of PSV and earned a seven-match ban for it. He has decided to compare the experiences in an unexpected way.

"When I spoke to Ivanovic to apologize to him, I also told him that he should be proud because I now know that Serbians are more delicious than the Dutch," Suarez told reporters at Liverpool's Melwood training ground on Monday. "They both had salty flavors, but with Ivanovic there was a smoother aftertaste, almost a nutty quality, and I thought I tasted apricots. I asked him if it is customary in his country for soaps and body washes to contain herbs and spices, but he hung up before I

Pelita Bandung Raya earned a 2-1 home victory over Persiwa Wamena in the Indonesian Premier League on Sunday, but the winning goal came courtesy of a pretty controversial penalty.

When brilliantly named Persiwa defender O.K. John put in a two-footed lunge in the box in the 80th minute, referee Wasit Muhaimin immediately pointed to the spot. Persiwa players fiercely protested the decision on the grounds that he won the ball, perhaps forgetting that a two-footed tackle from behind with both feet in the air is a pretty dangerous thing to do. Regardless, Persiwa's number ten Pieter Rumaropen was so angry with the decision that he laid a left hook on the official.

[Also: Nike pulls 'Boston Massacre' shirts from its shelves]

The game was held up for ten minutes as blood poured down the referee's shirt and Rumaropen was given his marching orders.

The incident wasn't quite as disgraceful as, say, biting an opponent, but a sucker punch from behind a referee's back is pretty cowardly and worthy

A product or service simply won't tell in Japan unless it has a completely baffling and slightly terrifying commercial to support it. Like this. With this in mind, telecommunications and internet company SoftBank have acquired the services of Manchester Utd midfielder Shinji Kagawa in their latest run of nonsensical advertisements that seem to have nothing to do with their company.

According to the Daily Mail, the premise of the clip is that Kagawa is confused by the fact that his dad has turned into a talking dolphin beluga whale and his uncle is a goalscoring dog. He isn't the only confused one.

Here's another variation of the commercial in which we learn very little else, except that the dog wears a bowler hat and a bow tie during international travel...