Dirty Tackle

  • Zlatan Ibrahimovic's expert analysis of the Champions League group stage draw

    Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle10 hrs ago

    The 2014/15 Champions League group stage draw has been completed and this time it is personal. For Zlatan. This is interesting to me because I am Zlatan.

    Before I begin Zlanalyzing the groups, I must make something clear. This will be the year that Zlatan finally wins the Champions League. And if not this year, then next year. And if not next year, then the Champions League must be renamed to the League of Lies, because if the ultimate champion goes his whole career without winning it, then it was clearly never actually for real champions. I have spoken about this with Arsene Wenger and he is in total Zlagreement. But this is definitely the year that I will win it. Not even David Luiz can stop me.

    Group A

    Atletico Madrid Juventus Olympiacos Malmo

    Zlatan Zlays: This group includes two of Zlatan's former clubs and four that now live in fear of Zlatan. Last season was very magical for Atletico, winning La Liga and reaching the Champions League final, but when you use up all your magic spray at once, there is nothing left but pain or the awkward moment when you must stop pretending to be injured without the aid of magic spray. This is a Zlientific fact.

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  • Karim Benzema drives his €2 million chrome Bugatti Veyron to training because he's gotta drive it somewhere

    Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle16 hrs ago

    Not to be outdone by teammate Alvaro Arbeloa's super cool Morgan 3 Wheeler, Karim Benzema arrived at Real Madrid's training complex in his black and chrome Bugatti Veyron, which costs roughly €2 million. He documented the occasion on his Instagram account. 

    Benzema's car might have served a purpose beyond making everyone jealous, though. Cristiano Ronaldo once raced a Bugatti Veyron in a Nike commercial. Maybe Benzema was simply facilitating a rematch.

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    Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT

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  • Bafetimbi Gomis researched Swansea by playing as them on Football Manager before joining the club

    Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle1 day ago

    When Bafetimbi Gomis left Lyon at the end of last season, he prepared to join Swansea City by researching the club and playing video games at the same time. Naturally, he did this by playing as Swansea in Football Manager.

    From the Guardian:

    We can only hope that Gomis introduced himself to his new teammates by informing those he sold off in his game upon meeting them in real life.

    The next time someone asks you why you spend so much time playing video games, following Gomis' lead and just tell them that you're simply doing research for a career move. After all, if you're going to be the night security guard at Hull City's training ground, you need to have a comprehensive understanding of every player's attributes.

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    Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT

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  • Malmo's Magnus Eriksson scores absurd looping volley from distance

    Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle1 day ago

    Magnus Eriksson helped Malmo become the first Swedish club to reach the Champions League group stage since 2000 with a truly spectacular volley. It came in the 19th minute of Malmo's 3-0 win over Red Bull Salzburg and you really just have to see it to believe it.

    Malmo advanced on an aggregate score of 4-2. Somewhere in Paris, Zlatan is either feeling very proud or slightly jealous of that goal.

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    Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT

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