Seattle's Fredy Montero scored his first goal of the season in stunning fashion during his side's 2-0 win over the LA Galaxy. With Seattle already up 1-0 in the 48th minute, Montero was given too much space in the middle of the pitch and he punished the Beckhamless Galaxy by launching a beauty into the top corner from 35 yards out.

The older woman they cut to immediately after he scored was clearly impressed, as were the 39,000 other people in attendance. Though it will probably be overshadowed by Papiss Cisse's absolutely mind-boggling goal for Newcastle a few hours earlier, this, my friends, is a bit of goal-scoring perfection.

Kaka laughs. (Getty)

Pepington. Hello.

First, I would like to congratulate you on beating Malaga. That must have been an enjoyable experience. Until I stepped on your happiness and did Macarena on it by winning La Liga right afterwards. Now my players -- the best players -- toss me towards the heavens while I shout for joy like this: "Ahhhhhh Peppleberries."

Note how Ramos does not drop me. This is because I am more special than Copa del Rey trophy. Which you can have because I do not need it anymore. It is beneath me now. Which is why it is perfect for you. I laugh now.

ESPN breaks some transfer news. (screengrab via Ahmad T.)

During the first half of Barcelona's 4-1 win over Malaga (in which Lionel Messi had a hat trick to break Gerd Muller's record of 67 goals in season), ESPN shared their handy graphic to show the top scorers in La Liga. Beneath the astonishing goal tallies for Messi and Ronaldo was the surprising information that Real Madrid's Gonzalo Higuain and Karim Benzema had scored a total of 41 goals for Barcelona this season.

It was obviously a mistake, but to make the error with both players is a bit curious. Sergio Ramos must somehow be at fault for this.

Anyway, here's Messi's record-setting 68th goal of the season across all competitions...

Real Madrid sealed their 32nd league title with a 3-0 win over Athletic in their third to last match of the season. Athletic's Javi Martinez was sent off in the 72nd minute for his second handball and after the final whistle blew and Madrid began their celebration at the San Mames, Martinez re-emerged to have a chat with Cristiano Ronaldo.

Feeling the furious joy of winning his first title in Spain (and fourth of his career), Ronaldo shouted at Martinez and gave him a "shove it" gesture before going on to celebrate with his teammates. Though Martinez was the target of this gesture, it was probably intended for many, many more people.

UPDATE: Martinez reportedly told Ronaldo, "Don't celebrate too much, I'm a World Cup champions and you're not, clown."

It's been a tremendously disappointing season for Fiorentina as they languish near the bottom of the table and during a match between relegation certainty Novara, it got much, much worse. Adem Ljajic was prematurely subbed out of the match two minutes after Novara went up 2-0 at the half-hour mark and as he made his way to the bench, he sarcastically applauded and gave a thumbs up to manager Delio Rossi.

Well, Rossi snapped and lunged at Ljajic, grabbing him by the neck and hitting him while other members of the staff tried to intervene. Here's another view of it...

Fabrice Muamba waves to the crowd. (Getty)

Fabrice Muamba was moved to tears when he appeared on the pitch at Bolton's Reebok Stadium before their match against Spurs. It was six weeks ago that Muamba collapsed on the pitch after suffering a cardiac arrest at White Hart Lane during an FA Cup match against Spurs. He was "in effect" dead for 78 minutes, but made an improbable recovery and was released from the hospital on April 16.

He told Sky Sports after fans chanted his name when he made his appearance:

"I wish I was playing today, obviously my circumstances are not helping at the moment but I'm sure the boys will go out and give their best today."

Muamba added: "This is a special place, the support has been overwhelming and I am just grateful for that.

"I am okay, I am getting stronger every day. I am happy to be back I am just happy to be able to speak to people again and walk freely.

"I am very happy and very excited for today's game and I am happy that I came today."

It was a beautiful moment. And then Lofty the Lion moved in...

Steven Gerrard and a very happy Roy Hodgson. (Getty)

With a new England manager in place and the captaincy once again up for grabs, Steven Gerrard has already said that he looks forward to working with Roy Hodgson again even though their last partnership didn't go so well. The following is a transcript of Gerrard's call to Hodgson just to remind the gaffer that he would very much like to be England captain.

Hodgson: Hello?

Gerrard: Congratulations on having a great day because you're getting a phone call from Steven Gerrard and to a lesser degree because you were named England manager. This is Steven Gerrard.

Hodgson: Hello Steven. How are you?

Gerrard: I'm great because pretty much my favorite Liverpool manager ever except for all the other ones and several people who haven't been Liverpool manager is now my boss again. Also, something in my house smells like jasmine even though no one knows what jasmine is or where it comes from.

The Beckhams give in to the KissCam. (arashmarkazi)

On the eve of his 37th birthday, David Beckham paid a visit to the Staples Center with wife Victoria, sister Joanne and his mom to see the L.A. Lakers take on the Denver Nuggets.

During a break in play the Beckhams appeared on the KissCam, a jumbo screen novelty that most Americans find cute, but British people find morbidly embarrassing. They duly obliged their kissing duties, clearly looking a little abashed at the prospect of making out in front of 20,000 people. Here's video...