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Dirty Tackle

Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XXVII

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

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"Come at me, bro." (Getty)

The latest installment of Andrei Arshavin's ongoing interactions with the readers of his official website is just, well, it's wonderful. So let's just get right to it.

1. From Fifka777
Andrey, after Cesc left the team, do you keep your personal contact with him?
AA
: A few days ago Cesc came to our training ground; we had an opportunity to communicate with each other.

So...did you? That kind of makes it sounds like Andrei just gave him the finger and ran away.

3. From Nikneimus
Hi Andrey. My name is Sergey, I'm forty-four, I live in Uzbekistan (Bukhara). We watch football and support Russia — we worry, we pray, we rejoice! Russia goes to the Euro 2012. Guys, you all deserve a lot of credit, you all did your best and achieved the result. We are all happy for you! Congratulation. We watched the draw, it seems like you have pretty good chances. We would like to invite you to visit our old city of Bukhara which is 3 000 years old. Our city is a tourist attraction and we have a very well-developed tourism industry.
We have unique architecture and, well, of course, pyramids — there are things here worth looking at! There are a couple of decent hotels here and a lot of little ones .People are warm, hospitable and the city is quiet, calm (unlike
the Caucasus, there are no terrorists here). A lot of vegetables and eastern sweetmeats. Come with the whole team, their families, relatives and friends. Ask your tour operators a tour to Bukhara, people from all over the world come here. The silk road - Khiva, Samarkand, the palace of the emir of Buhara built by ancient masters in the form of a scorpion and the highest in Central Asia minaret tower of death, all these great things are here. The burial tomb of Tymur the
conqueror is in Samarkand. There are also some interesting places in Khiva. Best regards,
c********@
ya.ru 03.12.2011
AA
: I've long wanted to visit Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan.

And how could you not? Sweetmeats, Andrei! Sweetmeats!

4. From Ramon95
Andrey, top of the day,
I want to tell you that you're a great guy and a good player. Tell me who can you point out in the national teams of our rivals at the Euro 2012: Poland, Greece and the Czech Republic?
AA:
The Poles have Lewandowski, Piszczek and two goalkeepers from Arsenal, the Czech Republic -Rosicky, Greece - their experienced captain.

Yes, Greece's captain is so experienced that he doesn't even need to be referred to by name (it's Giorgos Karagounis, by the way) or any other significant identifiers. Just "experienced captain" -- which, to be fair, is definitely better than saying "that guy with the hair."

5. From lizaveta99
What's going on, Andrey, why don't you answer my questions? :) Who picks them up for you, your admin? : D
AA
: Were there many questions?

Even when Andrey answers your questions, he doesn't answer your questions, lizaveta99. Life just isn't fair.

6. From Queen
What do you think has to be changed in the world for it to become better?
AA
: Money abolished.

Succinct, topical and anarchistic. Probably not what the Queen wanted to hear, though.

7. From Queen
What does your intuition tell you right now, Andrey? :)
AA
: At the moment I do not talk to it.

...why not? Did it insult you? Say something about your family? Maybe it disagreed that money should be abolished? How does one get in a fight with their intuition anyway? Why are my ears bleeding?

8. From Queen
Andrey, complete the phrase: "At some point in my life, I'll surely ...
AA
: I don't even know what to say…

OK. I figured it out. "Queen" is actually Andrei's intuition.

9. From Roni2000
Hi Andrey! The question is: Is it true that in your childhood and adolescence you lived
on Favorskogo str.14 - 1 (near the school №111)?? It's just that I live in this house and want to know if it's true or not.
AA:
No, I never did.

Is someone in Russia going around selling houses by telling potential buyers that "Andrei Arshavin lived here"? This could be a far-reaching and very lucrative scam.

11. From Blaise
Andrey, do you remember your classroom teacher Svetlana Vyacheslavovna Sosnina? Well, now she's our classroom teacher and often talks about all the football players. Regards from our class =)
AA:
She was not our classroom teacher. It was Natalia Semenovna who was in charge of our class — the math teacher. And Svetlana Vyacheslavovna taught literature and Russian.

Who is spreading these lies about Andrey's childhood?!!?

12. From Queen
Andryusha, looking back what do you see there? ;)
AA
: My behind

That's Andrei's way of telling Queen/his intuition to stop asking questions already.

13. From Queen
If you were a bird, where would you fly? :)
AA:
Into space.

Of course.

14. From nelli15012001
Hello Andrey, My name is Nelli. My friend Roma and I are your huge
fans! We had a bet — I said your favorite type of car is BMW, and he says that it is Mercedes. Who is right?
AA:
Mercedes

What kind of degenerate gamblers bet on that sort of thing? Have you ever once turned to your friend and said, "Hey, I'll bet you a dinner that Leo Messi likes Gap Kids more than Armani Exchange."? (He does, but that's besides the point.)

15. From Phantom
Do you continue to communicate with Eboue after he moved to Turkey. I've
heard recently that during the game against Besiktas, people threw bottles and coins at him...
AA:
I've heard this story. After he left us, he just once came to the Arsenal training ground. My wife is on good terms with his wife. She is invited to Artem's birthday.

But Emmanuel is not! I see a trend developing here. It seems Andrei is only willing to talk to former teammates when they come and visit him at training.

17. From Queen
Andrey, hi! I'm watching "Disco of the 90-s" which is held in St. Petersburg,
and therefore I have a question for you. What kind of memories do you have from the 90-s? Do you remember anything in particular? Regina;)
AA:
Back then I thought more about football and studying so I didn't know that I lived through some horrible years for my country. I didn't know that people might have just gotten killed on their way home. It was everywhere around. What do I remember?
I guess there were groups of people near every metro entrance with one goal —to mug and to beat. They acted according to a plan. A little thug came over and began getting in your face, of course, you sent him to hell, and then there jumped up a group of his thug-friends from around the corner:) Your feet in such situations were your best friends :)

So Andrei spent the '90s killing thugs and running away from their friends. That sounds about right. More unsettling than Russia in the '90s? The fact that this was Queen's sixth question already.

18. From serg2009
Hi, Andrey Sergeyevich! This is Belokurov. How are you doing? Haven't talked to you for quite a while…
AA
: Oh,.hi. How are you! :)

Well, if you came to Arsenal's training ground, Andrei would be much more willing to communicate with you, Belokurov.

23. From Moonray
Andrey, many celebrities voice over cartoon characters. Would you like to voice over some cartoon character? For example, from the well-known Soviet cartoons? Who would you prefer? Looking forward to your response.
AA
: I never thought about it. If this proposal comes, I would consider it.

YES PLEASE

24. From Xander
Hi, Andrey !!!!! During the friendly match Greece - Russia there was
a small skirmish after a foul on Anyukov. It's very interesting why you pushed
Katsouranis away! It's just that usually in such situations you are the one who calm everybody down... Apparently at that moment he really got the better of you! Answer
if it's not a secret! P.S. Good luck in every game!!!!!
AA
: He, like all Greeks and Italians, loves to wag their arms.
Perhaps they have such a mentality. So I told him - you can talk with
words, but don't wag your arms here.

That's right. If you go wagging your arms around Andrei, he will send you to hell like those metro station thugs in the '90s. And then he'll run away from all your fellow Greeks. And Italians.

Photo: Getty

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