Unbelievable as it is, Andrei/ey Arshavin conducted yet another Q&A session with the supremely unstable visitors to his official website in late May and, until now, it has eluded our focus. So, without anymore blather, let's wade into the weird.
1. From RomanR
Andrey, there is a very interesting trend of martial arts: non-contact fight. There are a lot of information and studies about it on Internet. Some professional athletes use some elements of
this technique in their sports activities. Experienced football players sometimes also resort to similar methods, however, I believe, not on a regular basis, but rather they do it intuitively.
Andrey, what if you study this issue, consult the professionals and use this technique to make your football style even more unique and intriguing? That would be great to hear a commentator describing a match like this: "Arshavin approaches a penalty area with the ball, strange
movement, he seems to lose coordination ... although, no ... it's the opponents' defender who loses balance, another defender stumbles ... the goalie is falling flailing hands....". I'm quite serious, what do you think?
AA: And what do you think about inventing such a strike, after
which the ball flies right into the net, but you don't have to touch the ball for it. I think this will be useful in football. Will you come up with an idea how to do it?
Andrei shouldn't joke. RomanR has clearly put a lot of thought into this football/non-contact martial arts hybrid (all the way down to the fictitious commentary of it). I'm willing to bet he will have diagrams and PowerPoint presentations on how to execute such a maneuver within the hour.
2. From Grabow
Andrey, do you think Fernando Torres and David Luis made
Chelsea stronger or not? And one more, Andrey, what clubs can compete with Arsenal for the top spot in the EPL this year?
AA: Of course, they did.
Fernando Torres scored one whole goal for Chelsea. The answer to your first question is so blatantly obvious, Grabow, that Andrei has totally ignored your second question just to give his answer the proper abruptness.
Hello Andrey, I want to you ask your advice: my dream is to learn snowboarding, but my mom and grandma don't let me do it, they say I'll break my bones! What should I do - listen to them and never fulfill the dream, or ignore them and do it my way.
AA: I think you have to promise your parents that you will follow all safety rules. Then, everything should be fine.
Unless you still get hurt. Anyway, since when do snowmen have to answer to moms and grandmas?
Andrey, what street do you live on and what's your house number?
AA: I wouldn't want to disclose it. Those who already know it come over very often for an autograph and bring their friends. I can tell you a district: Hampstead.
Nice try, sergunvarsenale. But Andrei is far too smart for your lazy approach to stalking. Now put in the leg work and start ringing every doorbell in Hampstead.
What do you think about bodybuilding?
AA: When the body of an athlete is toned to a certain extent, I suppose it looks good and girls should like it.
Andrei Arshavin knows what girls should like.
Andrey, I've noticed that you always leave the stadium very quickly and I want to know what you're so in a hurry to do after the game? Thanks in advance for your answer :)
AA: What's the point to sit around?
Plus he wants to get going before sergunvarsenale can follow him back to Hampstead.
Andrey, do you have a lot of security =) Do not think that an attempt on you is being prepared, I'm just curious))))
AA: I don't have any. Never had.
WHAT?!?! Dear God -- between sergunvarsenale asking where you live and GavrilovaJulia inquiring about your level of security and whether you're aware of the fact that she is preparing to carry out an assassination attempt, you better get some security quick. RUN ANDREI! RUN BEFORE THEY GET YOU!
Andrey, do you think that scars adorn a man? Thanks in advance for your response.
AA: They say it.
GavrilovaJulia's follow up question is about scars?!?! That was the only way her line of questioning could have gotten more disturbing. With a follow up about scars on a man. Stop answering and flee to the panic room, Andrei! This is defcon 12! DEFCON 12!
Hi Andrey, this is the fifth letter I have scribbled. I hope you'll get it ( but I doubt it)))) What is your favorite movie? I just think that one can learn a lot about a person from what he/she watches.
AA: Off the top of my head? Well, "Legends of the Fall ", "Dancer in the Dark".
Among the Russian films - "Brother" and some other films. What have I watched recently? The new "Office Romance". I'd rather not comment on this one.
Does it surprise anyone at all that Andrey listed a film that stars Bjork? No? Good.
Dear Andrey! At the moment I am a reserve player of FC Spartak (Moscow). However, I rarely come out to play this year, I don't have enough playing practice. My coach says
that if I agree to change my sex, I can successfully play in the Women's league, will have a lot of practice and I will finally have my own fans. Question: Do you think my love for football is worth a sacrifice?
AA: You have very funny coaches in Spartak.
The coaches probably are kidding, Andrei. But I don't think vovochka711 is. Maybe GavrilovaJulia can help him out...
What brought you more joy: a goal against Barcelona or four against Liverpool?
AA: Goals against Liverpool.
"Screw you, Liverpool" -- Andrei Arshavin.
Assalom Alaykum, Andrey. What is 70 30
AA: Wa Alaykum Assalam, Adidas777! One hundred. It is the natural number following 99 and preceding 101 :)
And Andrey thwarts Adidas' latest attempt to bewilder Nike athletes with simplistic brain teasers.
Do you already have a favorite English dish?
AA: So far I haven't tried any real English dish. The food stuff here is good, of good quality.
What Julia cooks best of all?
AA: Everything that my Julia cooks comes out yummy
Hello Andrey, I guess you had a lot of advice from more experienced players during your football career. Please tell at least one football secret :)
AA: I remember long ago I was once told: "Do not listen to us old ones, do as you see fit"
"Screw you, old people." -- Andrei Arshavin.
Photo: Getty Images