Andrea Pirlo and his beard are silently judging people

Many people think Simon Cowell and his brutally honest comments make for for the harshest judgement, but Andrea Pirlo's bearded silence make Cowell seem like an empathetic kindergarten teacher. In the video above, released by Juventus to promote some sort of talent competition in which participants must somehow impress Andrea Pirlo, the midfielder sits on a bench in Australia and quietly watches as various people attempt to get a reaction from him. None of them succeed.

Andrea Pirlo does not need any adorable facial expressions like McKayla Maroney to convey how unimpressed he is, though. He just stares.

Even though this entire video was likely scripted, each performer probably went home and cried as they were unable to get the image of Pirlo impassively staring at them from behind his noble beard. I guess we just have to wait and see what does impress Pirlo, but it will probably be an exquisite glass of wine served to him just as the sun sets by his most trusted friend, Davide the goat.

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Brooks Peck

is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter! Follow @BrooksDT