Just before the World Cup began, Monty Python released a new version of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." The added verse goes, "When you're in The World Cup, And all your hopes are up, And everybody wants their team to win. Then they go and let you down, And come slinking back to town, It's time for this daft song to begin." So along those lines, let's take a look at the bright side of early elimination for Spain and England.
-Everyone can finally stop complaining about how they keep winning every major tournament.
-Since tiki taka has been declared dead for the 4,637th time, they can experiment with a new style of play in their meaningless final match against Australia. Like shaolin football or trying to pass the ball with their minds.
-Iker Casillas can spend his days drawing pictures or sitting in a boat or doing anything else besides letting in goal after goal after goal after goal after goal after goal after goal.
-Since things went so horrifically bad, people could be easily convinced that Brazilian born new guy Diego Costa brought a curse upon the team and there was nothing they could do about it...except shave Vicente Del Bosque's mustache to rid the evil spirits. And no one would approve of that.
-More time for rollerskating parties.
-Defender Sergio Ramos now has Spain's 2010 World Cup trophy tattooed on one leg and Real Madrid's 2014 Champions League trophy tattooed on the other. Winning the World Cup again would've led to him trying to have another leg attached to his body through some abomination of medical science just so he could have the latest trophy tattooed on that. Or he would have it tattooed on something even worse. Either way, it's best that it didn't come to this.
-Freed themselves from the stank of Piers Morgan's support.
I am now supporting the USA in this World Cup.— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 20, 2014
-Can start building expectations for Euro 2016 early so that it's even more irrationally devastating when they lose in the group stage there.
-Can always say they did better than the reigning world champions in the first two rounds of the 2014 World Cup (on goal difference) and hope no one has access to Wikipedia.
-Editing the World Cup highlights DVD will be super easy.
-Since Wayne Rooney's first World Cup goal came in the loss that doomed them to elimination, it's pretty much like it never happened and that means he can still be blamed for everything.
-Luis Suarez, who scored the two goals that gave England their second loss, plays in the Premier League 10 months out of the year, so they can make sure his pizza deliveries always arrive late or his Costco membership is constantly getting canceled.
-The last time they were eliminated in the group stage was 1958. Two World Cups later they were champions. So get the champagne ready for 2022!
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