Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installment.
Erin S. check in with this instant classic from the Vancouver Canucks, featuring the Boston Bruins.
"Not sure if you'd consider this a fail or win, but I couldn't help but send it."
This is, of course, in reference to the infamous Alex Burrows bite on Patrice Bergeron in Game 1 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final, followed by the hilarious Maxim Lapierre mockery that occurred in Game 2.
At some point, when one work of art is edited or rearranged or presented in an entirely different context, then the work is transformed. This is something almost behind a Jersey Foul, taking us into a realm of protest and parody we've rarely visited. Our only regret is that it doesn't light up. Or squirt blood.
(Coming Up: David Backes, Devin Setoguchi, Patrick Kane vs. spellcheck; a ripping good Montreal Foul; mixing Wings with Kings; and an Alex Semin Foul that's as gross as one would expect.)
And here … we … go.
Oh, come on now: David Backes is an American hero. From Steve Mueller:
"It's disappointing when you see the last name of your captain spelled incorrectly."
Well, it could be worse. Actually, it already was worse in a previous edition of J-Fouls.
Speaking of disrespect …
NO. No no no no no. No.
"Found this schmuck at the Red Wings outdoor practice at Clark Park. Please do not disrespect the magician that is Pavel Datsyuk."
Hey, look, he's a gonzo player, no doubt. But … no.
As we've said before: Hockey names on other sports jerseys = punk rock. Other sports' jerseys on hockey sweaters = FOUL. From reader Kevin Dugal on this Ndamukong Suh jersey:
Saw this walking around Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. I know the Lions had a great season... but, really? Gotta wonder why he decided to include a total of 8 "U's".
One for each stomp next season?
passes along this rather creative Revisionism Jersey from the Montreal Canadiens, as a Mike Cammalleri T-shirt is transformed into a Rene Bourque one. And who needs the magic of duct tape when you have scissors, a marker and bare skin?
From reader Steven Castaneda:
"It should easily qualify as a Jersey Foul considering Kris Draper never played for the Kings."
Everything he said is true. Although it does dramatically decrease the chances we'll have another Poop Cup incident.
From reader Joe Beaupre:
"I'm at a loss. First letter is an 'f'"
The Oilers that have worn No. 8: Dean Arsene, Sean Brown, Zdeno Ciger, Doug Friedman, Steve Graves, Kari Jalonen, Reg Kerr, Stu Kulak, Joe LeBlanc, Dave Lumley, Alexei Mikhnov, John Miner, Joe Murphy, Frantisek Musil, Michel Petit, Ales Pisa, Geoff Sanderson, Gord Sherven, Risto Siltanen, Doug Smith, Wayne Van Dorp, Ray Whitney.
Maggie Sievers checks in with this San Jose Sharks Foul, which butchers Devin Setoguchi's name. Is this one of those things where you mispronounce the name all the time and then just assume that's the way it's spelled? Is this person oblivious that the former Sharks' nickname was "SET-O"?
We've had several variations of Alex Semin Jersey Fouls here, all of them as gloriously immature as you'd imagine. But this one is … blunt? From Daniel Mahon:
"It's dark, and difficult to see, but that's a #28 "MAN JUICE" jersey from the Caps/Panthers game on February 7th. I wonder what these people will do when Semin is gone next year."
Well, we can think of one way to relieve the tension.
Wait, where were you going with that?
No, this isn't a Swedish story that sells furniture with drink holders...
This was sold on Craigslist as a Chicago Blackhawks "Kane Misprint Jersey" for $60, which featured this instant classic note from the seller: