The probable superstar of the upcoming Olympics, Phelps arrived in Beijing sporting a solid horseshoe mustache (don't call it a fu manchu, the mustache lobby gets very upset about misidentified fu manchus) that makes him look like a cross between Hulk Hogan and a Virginia State Trooper. The 'stache will undoubtedly be gone by the time Phelps hits the pool on Saturday morning, but is a solid grooming choice in the lead-up to the Games.
Perhaps the mustache-rocking is an homage to Mark Spitz, the man whose record seven gold medals Phelps is gunning for these Olympics. Spitz won those medals with a bewhiskered upper-lip that oozed machismo. The famous poster of Spitz, in his swimming briefs, wearing his seven golds was a wall-staple of both boys and girls. Merely looking at Spitz's old mustache makes you more manly. Or, in my case, closer to becoming semi-manly.
- Hulk Hogan