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Maggie Hendricks

Cold War not over for Russian athletes

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Seven Russian track and field were provisionally suspended today for tampering with their drug tests. Ladies, ladies, ladies. I know that America has some of the best track athletes on the planet, but do you really have to follow in those footsteps? Do what the figure skaters in your country do. Come here, train, and then beat us at the games. Don't mess with urine! The women have 14 days to appeal the suspension. If all else fails, ask Putin for a pardon.

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